Books read, CL Walters, Fiction, fiction - mental health, New Adult, New Fiction, Reading, Romance, Romance Novel, The Messy Truth, The Stories Stars Tell Cami Books read, CL Walters, Fiction, fiction - mental health, New Adult, New Fiction, Reading, Romance, Romance Novel, The Messy Truth, The Stories Stars Tell Cami

Unhealthy Relationships and Romance Books

When I was 18 (this was in the early 1990’s), I was a small town girl living in a very conservative community where God, Family, and Country were the trifecta of life. Everyone had guns and used them for hunting season. It was commonplace to get married young—barely out of high school—to your high school sweetheart. All those beliefs perpetuated year after year. I say this to give you a frame of reference about my perspective at 18. I wanted to go to college, but I was the first one in my family to think about it. We didn’t have a lot of money or know-how about how to get there, but I did think: maybe there’s something else.

One thing I loved: reading.

We had one bookstore and a library. That’s where you could find me if I could find my way to either place.

As an adolescent, my favorite reads were romances. I started with the Sunfire Romances (long live the love triangle) and moved on to Sweet Valley High and Sweet Dreams books (oh the drama), and eventually I found my way to the adult romances reading Lavyrle Spencer and Judith McNaught (so that’s how sex works). I suspect that these readings shaped my belief system about my identity as it related to “romance” and relationships, though to be fair, I had an excellent model of a respectful relationship between my parents. 

Like any adolescent, I was ready to test the waters of relationships, and that’s where things got skewed. My fundamentalist, church background—reinforced by my parents—insisted that I shouldn’t date until I was sixteen. When I did venture into the dating arena, I was given a “purity ring” to reinforce chastity (no sex until there was a “ring on it”, peeps) which also loaded on a heap of guilt when it came to experimentation. Finally, I had this “romanticized” version of what it meant to be in a relationship, and no clarity on what an unhealthy one looked like.

Fast forward to 2022.

I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart. I moved away from that small town. I did get to college by the skin of my teeth and graduated. I did marry my college sweetheart and have been a mother to two amazing kids. I got my masters, have worked with teens, and I still read. 

Last year, I read the tiktok, booktok sensation Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover. It’s an entertaining book, and while I’m about to be critical of it; please know that this commentary isn’t a knock on the author or her ability to write a catchy book that draws a reader in. This is not that kind of criticism. 

When I finished and set Ugly Love down, I walked away from it with my stomach in knots. At first I couldn’t figure out why. It’s about a young woman in her early twenties who’s starting over in a new place. She’s just gotten a job as a nurse and moves in with her brother as a stop-gap until she can find her own place. Living across the hall is her brother’s best friend. There’s a lot of sexual chemistry between them, and so they both consent to a relationship with “no strings.” Except, like most “sex-only” relationships, feelings happen. What ensues is a story highlighting an often unhealthy and manipulative relationship rooted in emotional bankruptcy and trauma. Like any romance read, it ends with the “happily-ever-after” but after reflecting on what had bothered me about it, I realized I had read a glorified version of “If I stick around, I can fix him”, and I felt so sad for 18-year-old me. Why? That girl would have taken the message to heart. I wouldn’t have been able to separate the “romanticized” ideals with reality, even knowing it was fiction. 

Which then made me wonder: how many young women 18+ are reading books like Ugly Love (and believe me when I say there’s a lot of stories like this perpetuating a kind of “I can fix him” message) and taking to heart that message? Being set up to accept abusive behavior in a partner because it’s important to be “committed” or if she just “works harder”, then everything will turn out okay.

When I wrote The Stories Stars Tell, there was catharsis for me—the girl steeped in purity culture—to let go of those unhealthy messages about personal empowerment. I didn’t start the story knowing that was where it ended up. I didn’t start The Messy Truth About Love thinking that I would look at that unhealthy packaging of a relationship as “normal” and deconstruct it by reinforcing a healthy relationship. But that’s where it went.


And so that’s what I hope readers are able to take away from The Messy Truth About Love. Sometimes we don’t know we're in an unhealthy situation until we’re able to step out of it and look back as we walk away. And maybe, just maybe, The Messy Truth About Love will be the story someone needs to see their own situation or prevent one. I can hope.

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Relationships: Isolation versus Autonomy

Storytime!

When I met my now husband, I wasn’t in the best mental space. I was a first-year college student who hadn’t left her hometown for a bunch of reasons, and ended up enrolled at her local college. A fortuitous convergence of events, really, because had it not worked out this way, I wouldn’t have met my guy. But that doesn’t mean it was smooth sailing. Nope. Both of us were willing to work through the junk in each of our individual lives (not always in pretty ways) to be together. But when we were younger and full of our insecurities, we weren’t always healthy in our approach to our own lives both on our own and together. My life became about him. His became about my adoration of him. While we didn’t display those red-flag tendencies (see graphic below), both of us potentially could have fallen into this trap.

Aging is a great perspective builder. Having been together for over twenty-five years, we aren’t the same two people we were in our early twenties (thank goodness). I’m happy to report that time, education, and experience has supported us to be a better version of a couple. A healthy one (see graphic). He’s pursuing his dreams and supports me in pursuing mine (and vice versa), both of us recognize the strengths each of us bring to the relationship to make us better as a couple. 

In the Messy Truth About Love, Hannah and Seth had a crush on one another in high school but other than a make-out session, that’s as far as it went. Seth mentions that being with Hannah “was like climbing a mountain he didn’t have the tools to climb.” Having been the victim of child abuse, Seth has done work on himself with therapy when he and Hannah reconnect. He’s becoming a better version of himself with access to better tools. Hannah, however, is getting out of a relationship that unfolds waving red flags at the reader. In the story when Hannah and Seth reconnect as more self-aware people, they have to work through the individual spaces in their own experiences and figure out what that looks like as a couple. It isn’t always pretty.

The Messy Truth About Love was a difficult book to write for the very reason it takes the reader into uncomfortable places in unhealthy relationships. One of the common bits of feedback I have gotten, however, is how important the story is to share. How many people who have read it mentioned they have identified in some way with the journey and wished they’d had something like this book to help them through the confusion. It isn’t a preachy book, but hopefully it’s one that provides perspective that each person has value in and of themselves beyond any relationship that they might be using to define them. 

The Messy Truth About Love is available for preorder and signed copies can be purchased up to September 6. It publishes on September 6, 2022.

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Relationships: Beware Gaslighting

This isn’t a blog to explore the how, the what, the what-to-do with respect to gaslighting. Remember I’m not a psychologist or a therapist, just an author who’s done a bit of research for their book (Here’s a link to a resource written by someone more in-the-know than I am). The purpose of this blog is to consider gaslighting in terms of the “everyday” relationship. Ultimately, this sinister form of manipulation culminates when the victim questions their sanity, but that’s not how gaslighting begins. 

Relationships are tricky creatures from the get-go. Typically two people with distinct personalities are working to come together and maintain a bond. This is difficult for two people with completely healthy approaches to relationships and communication. Add complicating factors like mental health issues, trauma and/or abuse, addictions, different perspectives, varied life experiences, so on and so forth, and the playing field went from being rolling hills to the Rocky Mountains.

Gaslighting, then, is one of those insidious tools used between partners to manipulate the other’s emotions. Like the love bomb, it isn’t necessarily something that is easily identifiable, especially when trust has been established in a relationship and if you aren’t sure what to look for. Here’s an example of how gaslighting might look in a typical relationship: 

Let’s pretend you’ve had the feeling that your partner isn’t being completely honest with you about what they’ve been doing. Your spidey-senses are tingling, so you decide it's time to ask about some things you’ve noticed, at least to calm your insecurities. When you ask your partner about the late nights and the strange hushed phone call from the other night, your partner twists your questions back on you as if what you’ve made are accusations, and suddenly you’re being accused of being a liar. That perhaps you’re “making up '' mysterious phone calls and accusing your partner of being late because you’re doing something wrong while they’re away. Your partner might say, “Guilty people make accusations about what they’re doing wrong to deflect, afterall.” Your partner’s guilt trip about your lack of trust and oversensitivity throws you off since that’s not what your intentions were. Right? Maybe your partner is right. You struggle to recalibrate your thoughts, because what started as just a conversation to “clear the air” has you defending yourself, doubting your intentions and your feelings,  along with doubting your instincts.

The thing is, even normal, everyday, regular people can deploy a “gaslight”. This isn’t only a tool of the shady or the narcissist or the sociopath. It is a learned tool—a form of avoidance and deflection—which makes it important to be able to identify one and call the behavior out immediately. In The Messy Truth About Love, Hannah’s ex-boyfriend used this technique, calling her “over-sensitive” and “dramatic”. The awful thing about persistent gaslighting even in a “typical” relationship is the ugly way it preys on beliefs about self, feeding on insecurities and forcing those wounds to grow and fester. 

If your partner uses this tool, it's important to call it out for what it is. You might need help with this, so find help! And if your situation is abusive, seek help immediately.

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The Trials of Imogene Sol: The Allies

Character Art!!!

One more day until The Trials of Imogene Sol publishes. I can’t believe it’s almost here!

In celebration, I wanted to share with you some artwork I had commissioned and share a little bit about Imogene’s network of support.

The star of the show:

Imogene Sol has worked hard to be a top-10 cadet at The Ring Academy on Serta. When the Final Trials begin—tests to determine her job placement—she’s ready. Her hope to shed her infamous name—a name synonymous with her traitor parents—rides on her performance. When a mysterious saboteur interferes with her Trials, Imogene must uncover who’s behind the treachery but who can she trust? The stakes aren’t just for her future anymore but her life. 

Here’s who she turns to for help:

Imogene and Vempur are best friends—as close as siblings. They’ve been their for one another since they both started at the Ring Academy in Year One.

Jenna became a friend to Imogene and Vempur when she started at the Academy in Year Three.

Tsua (pronounced: Zū uh) became friends with Imogene, Vempur, and Jenna when he was admitted to the Academy during Year Three.

Imogene’s newest ally—and the object of a crush she absolutely doesn’t want to acknowledge—is the academy Legacy student, Timeaus Kade:

I had so much fun writing these characters. I hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

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3 Things I Learned About Reading Space Opera

I made mention of sci fi and dystopian in an earlier post (click here for that), but I’m circling back specifically considering the space opera. As a definition, space opera as a category is a story set in outer space that is typically simplistic in nature and dramatic. The most famous space opera: Star Wars. Nebulous futures, scientific explanations about flying through space, the end of the human race, robots, artificial intelligence, heroes who need to save the day. You get it, right? And with my focus on The Ring Academy: The Trials of Imogene Sol—which is most definitely a space opera—and its impending release, my mind is a bit preoccupied in this category.

So look…a lot of the same lessons I’ve mentioned from earlier posts apply here, but rather than be repetitive, here are three new ideas to twist the lesson which can be applied to any category of writing. 

Asking the Right Questions

Read any info heavy science fiction novel (ah hem… Dune…) and you’ll understand that just like a fantasy story, it’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae of the information that defines the story. The problem, of course, is information dumping and information overload (which I’ll cover in a moment). This turns off most readers. What great writers in the category do well is parcel out information that is relevant to the necessary questions. Of course a reader has questions about the world, but not all the questions are necessary to the story. Not all of them fill in the gaps of the plot hole. While the author has a lot of the questions answered, that doesn’t mean the story needs all of them answered. The trick is identifying which ones need to be answered for the sake of the story.

One of my favorite dystopian writers is Paolo Bacigalupi (Ship Breaker, The Drowned Cities, and Tool of War). The cool thing that Bacigalupi does that I’ve seen some of my favorite fantasy writer’s employ is drop the reader right into the world and unfold the world around them as if the reader is already a member of the society. I LOVE this technique. A perfect literal example of this technique  is The Maze Runner by James Dasher. The reader is Thomas dropped into the maze having to learn on the fly what’s what and how he fits in. The pros of this is that you avoid the pitfall of the info dump, and like the character, the reader uncovers the world and the conflict as they go. 

There is inherent danger in losing the reader when an author embarks on information overload. I get the temptation to include all the cool things developed in world building, but just because it exists, doesn’t mean it’s relevant to the narrative arc. Well-written books in this category recognize this and employ an “as needed” methodology by understanding which questions need to be answered.

Which leads to the next point…

The Structure (the world and creatures)

Space opera (which encompasses Sci Fi/Dystopian) writers build worlds like fantasy writers, but then they destroy them. There is a methodology to this madness of course, even if they make it look effortless. But then consider that a wonderful fantasy story’s world is important to overall conflict from political machinations to traditions and systems impeding a hero’s journey. In Sci Fi/Dystopian the structure of the world and its demise is often the narrative architecture around which the conflict is built.

It’s clear when we enter habitat with Mark Watney in The Martian by Andy Weir, the structure of not only the immediate place is a functional place, but also that as a reader, the structure of the story is about survival. We are surviving with Mark, we are invested in his success, in the tension between learning he will connect with NASA. Or as we siphon through the missives of World War Z, the means by which author Max Brooks structured the novel makes it necessary to understand the hows and whys and what-fors in order to understand the movement of the narrative. The world, the creatures (think Alien) are so integral to the story, they can’t be removed or changed without impacting the overall narrative structure becoming a character in and of themselves.

Which then leads to:

Reader Story Interface

It might be easy to develop a story in this category so high above a reader’s understanding that it becomes inaccessible. But strong writer’s of this category make sure that the average reader is as much an expert as the scientist character or the super computer. Isaac Asimov is a great example of this. A very talented scientist (physicist), he was a pioneer in the science fiction realm of writing, making science fiction accessible (check out his Foundation series).

And really, that’s what any category is about right? Making the narrative accessible to the reader so that they fall in love with the story.

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The Road to Echoes: Secondary Characters Primer

Available October 12, 2021

Available October 12, 2021

Since Griffin was initially so unlikeable in The Stories Stars Tell, I knew I was going to have to balance him out with a cast of secondary characters readers would like. There’s only so much drudgery many of us are willing to take as readers and keep us engaged, so I knew that in order to move through Griffin’s difficult journey, he was going to need some help and some light. Enter, then, the secondary characters. These characters are necessary to support or hinder the protagonist’s growth.

When writing secondary characters, I approach it the same as when I write a protagonist. I dive deep into who they are to learn the details. I want to know everything I can about them to understand how those characters' motives might impact the protagonist. My goal: make them feel alive and real.  

With that in mind, here’s the primer on who you’re going to meet when you open In the Echo of this Ghost Town:

Maxwell Wallace—in a sort of meet-cute but it really isn’t—walks into Griffin’s life at his low point and she pushes his buttons. Her humor is something I love about her. Another thing I love about her: she doesn’t take anyone’s crap, especially Griffin’s, which pushes him off balance.  

Initially, I thought In the Echo of this Ghost Town would be a dual perspective story like The Stories Stars Tell that would vacillate between Griffin and Max, but well, it didn’t work out that way. I’ll write more about how Maxwell got her own story in a couple of weeks, and the why of how In the Echo of this Ghost Town is structured, but I think this is a great example of how secondary characters can take a narrative and create their own.

Callum “Cal” Wallace, Maxwell’s dad, is so freaking great that I want to meet this man (he has jumped up to Atticus Finch status for me and I might be crushing...hard). This secondary character is a co-mentor to Griffin’s growth. When this story went through beta reads and ARC reads, so many readers have said: I WANT MORE CAL! I completely agree (hmmmm - adult romance possibilities?)

Griffin’s family: Kat, his mom, Jaxon, his dad, and Phoenix, his brother, are very important to Griffin’s journey. They aren’t the healthiest of families having experienced a lot of trauma, but isn’t that the nature of things? People work through their own stuff often side by side, and it isn’t always easy or pretty. Of course, if you have read my work, you know I can’t leave them there, so we’ll see how these three characters push and scrape against Griffin to make him more whole. Head’s up: Phoenix has become a reader favorite, too (possible spin off?)

Bella Noble: We met Bella as a very static character in The Stories Stars Tell. She was hitting on Tanner poolside the last time we saw her on the page. She is back in Griffin’s story, and if you recall, Griffin was hyper focused on “getting with” Bella in The Stories Stars Tell. Now, In the Echo of this Ghost Town, she’s far more fleshed out, an important part of Griffin’s journey,  and I’m not sure we’ll like her any better than we did when we first met her. Or—let me drop this here—maybe we will. You’ll have to let me know.

Griffin’s friends (yes! They are back): Tanner, Josh, and Danny are really important to Griffin’s growth. Whether it’s calling him out, pushing his buttons, setting a boundary, or offering support, Griffin’s friends are very important to his growth as a person.

Available now!

Available now!

So there you have it. The primer. If you are so excited about reading this book and need it ASAP, you have a couple of options. First, read The Stories Stars Tell. It will set you up perfectly for In the Echo of this Ghost Town. Been there and done that? There are review copies available on Reedsy-Discovery if you’re a reviewer. Copies will be on Netgalley in September (that’s only 8 weeks away!), and if you just need the book ASAP and are willing to drop a review, I’ve got some eBook ARC’s available. Send me an email. ;) I also have four other books already published, so The Cantos Chronicles is a great place to start. Swimming Sideways is the first book in that series. Happy reading.


Next week: Researching Male Culture (because… ahem… I’m not male)



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Writing In Between

I’m in The Fold of Ravka (and, yes, this is a plug for both the books and the Netflix series which is awesome). Why am I in the Fold? I’m in between writing books and am ducking Volcra trying to eat me as I try and find my way through the dark.

6B0A38EA-1AE1-4DB6-968B-4591C253806B_1_201_a.jpeg

I have all of these ideas: several new contemporaries, an adult romance, a dystopian idea (can’t work on the fantasy right now since it’s resting for the next eight weeks). I don’t know where to go. The thing is, I do this every time. I finish a book, then spin in the dark unsure what’s next, worried I’ve lost my way, and struggle with the doubt that I’ll ever be able to do it again. 

But somehow, I find the thread of light. I find my way through it and out the other side to write a new story. Not sure what’s next, but in the meantime, here’s a snippet of something I wrote while hanging out in the dark.

If you’ve read The Cantos Chronicles which starts with Swimming Sideways, you might recognize some of these names.


Something New…

I don’t need snow today, and it isn’t even the good kind. Instead it’s wet and slushy, sinking razor cold teeth into everything. Fitting really. I was prepared for the rain. Freaking Willamette Valley weather. I’m still getting into the swing of things after winter break. The swing of a new term, new classes. The swing of being single again, not that it’s much different than when Sebastian and I were together. Six weeks removed, and I’m seeing that more clearly, now. We’d been going through the motions as a couple, far longer than in the swing of two people truly in love, and I should have seen it but hadn’t until it was removed.

As I was walking out the door of my apartment to leave for work, he’d called. That was not in the swing of things. My axis, which had finally regulated, tilted more than I cared to admit.

“I’m just checking in on you,” he’d said.

I could picture him sitting at the desk in his bedroom at his own apartment running a finger along the edge like he often did when he was on the phone. His bedroom barely controlled chaos behind him. His curly dark hair in need of a trim. I didn’t like that I could picture him with clarity still. 

“That isn’t your job,” I’d answered as I checked the locked door of my apartment, then started down the sidewalk to my car, annoyed at the intrusion but also conflicted by it. I thought I’d been in love with him. I thought he was probably the one, then I got the We should talk followed up with him dating a new girl a week after that talk.  Nine months together, most of them pleasant, the comfort of sliding back into an easy pattern of behavior that feels safe and secure is tempting. “Why are you calling?”

“I just–” he’d paused as though weighing and measuring the impact of his words. This was a usual Sebastian speech pattern, as though he hooded his words, himself, in the guise of how he said something to make me feel complacent but equally unsure.  “I know the anniversary is coming up, and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” 

I had a fleeting thought that maybe he’d been planning on saying something different, but then settled on what I’d heard. I dismissed the doubt. My normal pattern of behavior where he was concerned. What he’d asked was more endearing than holding onto any negative thoughts about his intentions. “I’m going home. I’ll be okay. Thanks.”

I’d climbed into my car, phone pressed to my ear with my shoulder holding it in place. Once inside the car, I’d started it, the phone switching to bluetooth, and I sat there, waiting for the car to warm up but also for him to say something else. The silence between us stretched into awkward territory. 

“Was that–” I’d started.

“I miss you,” He’d said at the same time.

“I’m not sure what to make of that.” My heart stalled in my chest, frozen in suspended animation awaiting something to bring it back to life. Being with Sebastian was so easy, yet he’d moved on way easier than me. I suspect it had started long before we actually parted ways. That hurts. The knowledge that I’d been so easy to replace slashed and burned the already broken parts of me. I was sitting in the car feeling like a hollowed out version of myself, and I wasn’t sure anything would ever feel normal again.

“I feel sort of lost,” he’d said. “And you always helped me figure myself out.”

My eyes had slipped closed. Always what I could do for him, just like my sister, Ruth, pointed out over the break. “He’s selfish,” she’d said. I’d opened my eyes back up and drove from the parking lot toward my job. “Sebastian. I can’t do this.”

“Hannah–”

“We’re over. Remember?”

His silence was confirmation enough.

I took a turn. “I can’t be your go to, Bash.”

“You’re right.”

I parked the car and sat back against the seat surprised by his admission. This was different for us. The swirls of us had mostly been the opposite, Sebastian maneuvering the conversation to where it was in his favor, and me capitulating. “I have to go to work.”

“Okay. Maybe I could call you later?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just to talk.”

I sighed. “Okay. Sure.”

We’d ended the call, and I sat in the car imagining myself the shape of a gooey heart where everything gets stuck inside the viscous jelly of my inability to set limits. I folded forward with my head on the steering wheel and bumped my head a couple of times with annoyance. Why couldn’t I just be stronger? Returning to rehash Sebastian even if that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about wasn’t good for me. It was good for him.

Now, I look up at the clock and hustle from my car. I need to get back into the swing of work, and because of that call, I’m running late for my shift. I hate being late; I hate letting anyone down.

 I rush through the doors at Hammerson Library, my eyes unfocused and replaying the conversation with Sebastian in my mind, and bump into someone hurrying out. The books in my arms flop out, falling to the ground in a syncopated succession of thuds. “Oh. I’m so sorry,” I say, and bend down to pick up the books which I don’t want to get wet. Shoot. Shoot. I’m going to be late.

“So sorry,” a deep voice says at the same time. “My fault. I wasn’t–” A familiar voice. Stalled now on his last word. “Hannah?”

I glance at a face I recognize. Warm amber eyes. A dimpled smile. 

A smile spreads across my face. “Seth! What are you doing here?” My smile won’t stop and communicates with the rest of my body that it needs to get involved in the joy. My heart hammers against my ribs. My face heats.  

He looks like high school Seth, but different. Older. Slightly crooked nose, mouth with perfectly proportional lips that cut adorable dimples into his cheeks when he smiles which he does now. Light brown hair—darker now— styled so that wavy locks stray across his forehead. He’s still taller than me.

My heart adds a hot hum of awareness in my chest. 

Because he’s my friend, I tell myself. One I haven’t seen him in a long time.




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Fiction, New Fiction, Writer's Life, writing process Cami Fiction, New Fiction, Writer's Life, writing process Cami

April Challenge: Finishing the Draft

Have I ever mentioned I was writing a fantasy book? Probably once or twice if you’ve been following my writing journey for any length of time. Or maybe this is new information. I started writing it over ten years ago, and for the last ten years I’ve started and stopped and tinkered and dabbled. The story has undergone a series of overhauls because I inevitably get stuck. A year ago—almost to the date—I scrapped everything I’d written chalking it up to world-building and started over. Over the last year, I’ve gotten the closest to a finished draft than I ever have, which is both exciting and terrifying.

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Why?

Because this book has become my personal Camino de Santiago, my creative pilgrimage. Despite my many years of writing and having written ten books over my lifetime, this book has been the one that alludes me and makes me feel like I’m fooling myself as a writer. I set it as a goal, the unattainable one that is a moving target of someday. 

As a contemporary writer for the most part, there is safety in the known. I can draw from the world around me. I can create a place rooted in the safety of a world that exists in the here and now. The process for writers of historical and fantasy face a different challenges, and for fantasy, specifically, one of those challenges is building a world, its inhabitants and its systems from scratch.

And I’m close!

I made a promise to myself to use April as the month to finish the draft (or work hard trying to do it).  April is here.

So here are the current Fantasy WIP stats:

  • This WIP is currently at 82,000 words.

  • It is tentatively titled: Deconstructing Cale Elysian.

  • There is one main protagonist—Cale— with a cast of “found-family” characters around him.

  • While the story would be categorized as a high fantasy because it is in a brand new world with new systems, the story is driven by low fantasy elements to keep it grounded. 

  • There is a magic system.

What I hope to accomplish this month (so you can hold me accountable):

  • I want to add around 50,000 words (like during NaNoWriMo), or as many as I need to get this book close to a finished draft.

  • I’d like to shut down my perfectionist tendencies and just write forward (it has been harder with this book than my others).

  • I’d like to share my weekly updates with you here and on Instagram each Wednesday. 

That’s it.

Fantasy2.png


Here’s a snippet of what’s been written. This is from the POV of Cale’s best friend Yoneo:

Yoneo squinted in the darkness of his tiny attic room of their family cottage. Wondering if he heard something, he waited. After a few seconds, he closed his eyes again and rolled over deciding one of his sisters—probably Teniko, who was hiding a new, secret lover—was sneaking back into the house. The brin coursing through his system was wearing off, leaving a nasty headache in its wake which required sleep. When he heard the tap again, his eyes snapped open; he sat up and groaned. 

“Teniko, if that’s you, I’m going to kill you,” he whispered it to no one in particular since if it was in fact his sister, she wasn’t in the room. 

Being stuck between a quartet of sisters was a challenge in and of itself, add the extra pressure of being the only boy and it increased exponentially. The oldest sister, Nika, had paired last summer and lived in Billerdem with her partner, but that left the other three, Kira just above him, Teniko who was just below him in birth order and drove him crazy most of the time, and then the youngest Martika. While he had lots of attention, it was often too much, and his dad wasn’t much of a respite wanting him to be the strong silent type he could count on while his sisters nagged him to share his feelings. It was exhausting. 

Yoneo rolled from the comfort of his bed and slogged his way around Teniko’s bed where his sister was actually sleeping.  Which meant, if it wasn’t her, it was someone else. His heart picked up speed wondering who in the blister of the dark would be throwing pebbles at his window. Probably Jem since he’d be the only one likely to do something so irrational. But that didn’t make any sense. Yoneo loosened the fastener and pushed the window open, not particularly concerned it would be someone dangerous. They lived in the tiny village of Brockton, for light’s sake. 

“Yo?” A familiar voice sort of whispered up from the garden below.

“Cale? What are you doing? Your dad is going to kill you!” Yoneo whispered back.

“Can I come up?”

“Wait. I’m coming down.” Shock flooded his system. Cale sneaking about was like Hah stopping its rotation around the suns and then changing direction to go around the opposite way.

He moved through the cottage with care avoiding the creaks of the old home. Like the third step on the way down the stairs along with one right at the bottom that seemed to have an odd thump when you removed your weight. He took a wide step just the other side of his parents bedroom door to avoid the squeaking floorboard, and when he opened up the door, he made sure to do it slowly so it didn’t groan. 

His friend was nowhere to be seen in the yard, the bushes, the herbs and flowers his mother coddled looking more like a wild meadow than a manicured garden. “Cale?” Yoneo whispered into the dark. 

Cale stepped out from behind a tall shrub. It was difficult to see him in the dark, though the moon provided some light, but not enough to chase away the shadows. He looked weird. And lumpy.

“What are you doing? I thought you were sick,” he said. “Come.”

Cale moved down the walk and into the house, looking behind him as he went.

“What’s going on?” Yoneo asked once they were inside and the door shut behind them.

Yoneo’s father coughed, and he held a finger to his lips. It wasn’t that his dad would be angry that Cale was there, but the man loved his sleep he had so little of it. His temper was formidable. “Wait,” he whispered, went up the stairs retracing his silent steps, grabbed some blankets, and returned to Cale the same way. The difficulty of having so many people in a tiny little cottage meant there was no space. “The barn,” he whispered and led the way to the out building.

When they were safely inside and out of the hearing of his family, Yoneo asked again. “What’s going on?”

Cale’s face, despite its usually golden glow, looked pale and stricken. 

“Are you still sick?”

Cale flopped into a pile of straw and it was then what had made his friend look lumpy; he was carrying a bag. “I’m not sick.” Cale finally said after some time.

“Are you running away?”

“You could say that. I’m going on The Tour.”








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Reading Wonderland Interview: Piper Bee

Joy’s Summer Love Playlist looks to fit in nicely within the YA RomCom category.

Joy’s Summer Love Playlist looks to fit in nicely within the YA RomCom category.

The thing about Alice — which I think all of us remember — is that when it came down to the adventure, she found she was much more accepting of reading about it after living it. Perhaps that is true for some of us homebodies (uh, what are you trying to say with that eyebrow raised in my direction? So it’s true, I do prefer to be at home, curled up on the couch, reading a book. What of it?). And when you think about the archetypal hero’s journey, it is always about returning home (albeit changed and better).

Romantic Comedy is a genre of story that offers that adventure into exploring love with rich, compelling characters, fun plots, the tingles of falling in love, and enjoyable laughs. The story’s action is most often set in the contemporary world making this an accessible genre for someone who doesn’t often read, wants a quick escape, or loves to laugh. The Romantic Comedy in the Young Adult world also offers the joy of not only falling in love, but also discovering truths about self that earmark the hero’s journey of a YA novel. Joy’s Summer Love Playlist, by Piper Bee, is a brand new YA RomCom available NOW! (It was released last week).

College-bound singer Joy has never been all that graceful, never been in love, and never really lived for herself. But when she’s suddenly free from her overbearing brother, Joy dreams of living out a summer full of music, sunshine, and an empty schedule.

There's just one catch...

Joy's hilarious duet partner, Cale, needs her to be his fake girlfriend so he can attract Lena, Joy's unattainable best friend. Cale’s plan is a tad crazy, but if Joy knows anything about Cale, it’s that he can make crazy work in his favor. 

But when Lena’s long-time crush, Jin, returns home for the summer, Joy realizes Cale’s chances might be impossible. Jin is nothing short of perfect. Easygoing, charming, and insanely good-looking… Joy has to find a way to even the odds without jeopardizing the friendships she’s worked so hard for.

Things get complicated when Joy falls head over heels for the boy that was “off-limits.” Just when she thinks her first love might be the real deal, her controlling brother—and her family’s dark past—get in the way. Joy could lose a lot more than a carefree summer.

Piper Bee — an independent author —  graciously agreed to answer some questions about Joy’s story. I’m so excited to share this interview with readers and potential readers, me being one of them.

CLW: Joy’s Summer Love Playlist released in Paperback May 20th (ebook drops June 20th). As an independent author (and the current climate notwithstanding) what has surprised you as you embark on the journey of telling the world about your debut novel? 

 Piper Bee: The most surprising thing has been all the work I had to do after I finished writing the book! From implementing beta feedback to marketing to metadata. There's a lot to know. I'd say I was also surprised at how to effectively convey the story without spoiling it (and I realllly wanted to)! And I was majorly surprised by all the support I've been getting! Since I don't even have a book out yet, I'm very humbled by all the love I've gotten from strangers.

 CLW: What inspired this story? 

 PB: There are three main things that inspired it. Originally, it was a dream I had that took place in the summer. There was a group of friends with some intriguing intersections in their relationships, so I built off that and the intense feelings I got from it. After that, I'd say my own experiences as a carefree teenager in the PNW summer. Lots of the settings come straight from memory. And finally, the music, of course! I can tell you a number of scenes that were influenced by specific songs. That's basically why I went with songs for chapter titles.

CLW: Five songs we should listen to while we read Joy’s Summer Love Playlist?

PB: Um, ALL of them, but here are some important ones: 1) Definitely: Rainbow Connection! The original is by Kermit the Frog, but my favorite is by Gwen Stefani. 2) Take on Me by Weezer 3) Forever Young by UNDRESSD (Yes, these are all covers so far!) 4) Grip by Seeb & Bastille 5) Young and In Love by Ingrid Michaelson

CLW: Tell us a little bit about Joy and what we should know about this protagonist. 

PB: Joy's main concern is preserving the good things in her life and not rocking the boat, which is immediately evident with her unstable brother, Carson. Despite that, though, she is true to herself in certain ways, such as singing. She's not shy about who she really is. I love that she is unapologetic about how much she loves food, probably because I'm the same way, haha!

CLW: Based on the cover, I might assume there’s a bit of love triangle trope. What do I need to know walking into this story about the romance in this story? 

PB: There is a love triangle (and fake dating also), but I tried to put my own twist on it. One thing you might like to know before going in is that Joy has never fallen in love before, so she's a bit clumsy at figuring out her honest feelings, which I personally find adorable.

Buy here

Buy here

CLW: What is your favorite romance trope to read? 

PB: I love so many tropes! Enemies to lovers is one of my favorites because I love the redemptive aspect of it. It's totally swoonworthy when someone realizes they were wrong and it ends in romance!

CLW: Do you have a favorite #otp that isn’t one, your own and two, Lizzy and Darcy? 

PB: Okay, you got me! I'm a huge P&P fan! A bookish couple I love is Katniss & Peeta because they were kind of unlikely but also needed each other. I love Katara/Aang from Avatar. Anime/Manga fans will recognize Tohru & Kyo from Fruits Basket! Love them! I'm sorry, I can' choose one. I can't.

CLW: Let’s play a little If… Then. I’ll give you an “If you’ve read (insert a book title) you respond with a “Then you should read (insert a book title)” Got it?

If you’ve read Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell, then you should read: Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett

If you’ve read The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, then you should read: The Matched series by Ally Condie

If you’ve read the Harry Potter Series, then you should read: The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

If you’ve read City of Bones by Cassandra Clare, then you should read: A Great and Terrible Beauty by Libba Bray (OMG I love this series - CLW)

If you’ve read A Fault in Our Stars by John Green, then you should read: The Sun is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon

CLW: When your audience closes Joy’s Summer Love Playlist, sets down the book and walks away, what do you hope is the lasting impression (without spoilers)? 

PB: I certainly hope they have some warm, fuzzy swoons to take away, but beyond that, I hope people see from Joy's journey that happiness isn't just about keeping the peace. Sometimes you have to stand for your own happiness in order to set things right.\

CLW: Which authors or specific books - YA and otherwise - have inspired your own author’s journey? 

PB: That author that made me want to write originally was Libba Bray with the Gemma Doyle series (mentioned above). Later on, I took a class taught by Christi Krug and loved her wildfire writing method. Scott Westerfeld's wild imagination impacted me also. And, I'm not just saying this to flatter you Cami, but you really helped me decide that it was worth it to pursue being and indie author!

CLW: The theme is favorite YA Romances/RomComs. What makes your top-five list in no particular order?

PB: 1) The Sun is Also A Star by Nicola Yoon, 2) The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, 3) The Caraval series by Stephanie Garber, 4) Dance of Thieves by Mary E. Pearson, and 5) Alex, Approximately by Jenn Bennett

 CLW: Can you give us any hints about your next project? 

PB: I'm working on a princess-centered epic fantasy series that definitely has a romance element to it. It involves a quest to find a magical tree that can help save the kingdom from corruption, but it turns out there's a much bigger threat. I have released some prequel short stories, which you can read if you sign up for my newsletter.

CLW: Where can readers find you online? 

PB: I am most active on Instagram (@piper.bee) and I have a website: piperbeeauthor.com where you can find my other channels. I would love to chat about writing and fictional romance and food!

Piper Bee, Indie Author

Piper Bee, Indie Author



Thank you so much for your time, Ms. Bee! Good luck and I’m looking forward to reading Joy’s story.

Next Week: A Little This or That . . .

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Reading Wonderland Interview: Rob Rufus

Buy The Vinyl Underground here

Buy The Vinyl Underground here

Today’s elixir is about time travel, and I think Alice’s rabbit will appreciate it since he’s always so upset about being late. 

Our next stop on the Young Adult Reading Wonderland Journey is with the YA Historical. As a category, historical stories are near and dear to my heart because I’m enamored with history. My middle grade reading journey was steeped in a love for this kind of story. Books within the historical category are set within the framework of a time in history, and a fictionalized story is fleshed out within those constructs. Today’s book, The Vinyl Underground by Rob Rufus is a gorgeous example of the YA Historical but with a modern historical edge because it’s post World War II and set during the Vietnam War in 1968. 

RufusVinylUnderground.jpg

Ronnie Bingham’s brother has been killed in the Vietnam War; a conflict he was drafted into only a year prior. Steeped in his own grief as well as his own fears as he approaches aging into the draft in a few months, Ronnie feels stuck and powerless. When his best friend Milo introduces him to a new student, Hana, they discover their mutual love for music isn’t the only thing they have in common, but also an abhorrence for the war. Their club the Vinyl Underground is born and becomes the safety net they all need.  In the confusion of the approaching draft, the systemic racism in their high school and community, and the difficulties of facing heavy feelings that threaten to drown him, Ronnie has to figure out what he believes and what he’s willing to do to take a stand. 

The Vinyl Underground by Rob Rufus is a brand new book released by Flux Books at the beginning of March just as the chaos of stay-at-home orders took precedence and pulled this wonderful book into its current to get lost in the mire of the log jam of other kinds of information.  I’d like to be a small voice to change that since this story deserves a much larger voice. Timely in its content despite the 1968 designation, themes of social justice, finding a way to take a stand, and using one’s voice to make change are paramount to the story. But like all YA - and one of the reasons I love this genre - the story finds a way to give us hope. Mr. Rufus, who so graciously agreed to this interview, has written one another book, a memoir called Die Young With Me, and The Vinyl Underground is his first book of fiction. 

CLW: First, I really loved The Vinyl Underground, your debut novel which dropped March 10. A big facet of this historical novel set during 1968 is the music. Would you elaborate on what inspired the choices of the songs in the story?

RR: Thank you, so glad you dug the book!  I’m a big music fan and record collector, so I was excited to center a story around the 1960’s because that’s the greatest era of music, in my opinion.  Some of the songs were used simply because they set the tone of a scene or character.  Others, like Eve of Destruction or Gates of Eden, I used to serve as a bridge between the insanity and uncertainty of the 1960s and the present.  I threw in the MC5 to symbolize how music, as well as attitudes, were growing more extreme. 

CLW: I’m an English teacher, and I’m always telling my students, “Setting matters!” So, why choose Vietnam as a backdrop versus another possible historical setting?

RR: Selfishly, I chose it because my dad is a Vietnam Vet.  He never talked to me about the war growing up, so all my life I’ve immersed myself in the culture, music, history, and literature as a way to connect with that part of his life.  During the 2016 election I saw so many parallels to the 1960s, but so little of the fight.  Young people who didn’t even go vote were posting and marching about the election after the fact.  It really broke my heart.  Boo’s sound like cheers to the people who are already living in the ivory tower.  Late reaction is inaction.  I hope readers take that message to heart even if it makes them uncomfortable.

CLW: One of my favorite characters is Hana and her unapologetic stance on issues of social justice. What made her even more dimensional is the way you juxtaposed the idea of racial injustice with the injustice of sexism. What inspired this choice?

RR: Hana was inspired by a very real person who is every bit as badass and unapologetic.  She’s an English teacher as well, and hearing about the way the political climate was affecting her minority students was very jarring.  Adults will rail on the bully pulpit without realizing the street-level impact of their thoughtless words.  I think a lot of kids were going through the same thing in 1968.  

CLW: You are also a musician (right?). What lessons from your work as a musician played into your work as an author?

RR: The most valuable thing being a musician taught me about writing is that “it sucks until it doesn’t.”  Learning an instrument, like learning to write, sucks!  It’s exhausting.  It’s just miserable work.  But if you stick with it, there will come a day when you find your rhythm.  And when you do, the whole world opens up to you.

CLW: The Vinyl Underground is your first fiction novel, but not your first book. You’ve also written a memoir called Die Young With Me. Was the process different to see these books completed?

RR: The process was way different.  Die Young With Me was the story of me getting into punk rock and spending my teenage years battling cancer.  It felt like a miracle when it got published and won awards.  The Vinyl Underground was easier to write but harder to get published.  Partly because of the subject matter, partly because many editors said kids don’t care about the 1960s.  It was disheartening, because with Vinyl Underground I set out to prove myself as a writer and not just someone who got a memoir published because they’d lived through a bunch of traumatic experiences.  But it is what it is, and that’s the nature of the business.  I’m very proud of both books and humbled than anyone takes the time to check out anything I do.

CLW: What is a fun tidbit about The Vinyl Underground that would surprise readers?

RR: I got the idea for the book when I found a love letter tucked in a used LP I randomly bought.  The letter was 40 years old between two high school sweethearts!  I thought it was such a beautiful thing to pair a message with a song. 

CLW: What is your favorite genre to read, and do you have a recommendation for readers?

RR: One of my favorite genres is pulp crime, because it doesn’t take itself too seriously.  It is offensive, funny, ridiculous, and incredibly entertaining.  I tell that to people all the time, and they roll their eyes.  But if you can accept it for what it is, you can be exposed to a lot of great writing.  James Ellroy is the living master of the genre, but he isn’t suitable for young viewers.  Insert every trigger-warning imaginable here.

CLW: What was the last book you read you found magical?

RR: The book I’m currently reading is magical as hell.  It’s called The Lost Book of Adana Moreau, by Michael Zapata.  It’s beautiful writing and a beautiful story that spans decades, borders, and dimensions.  It’s an incredibly thought provoking read.

CLW: Which specific authors or specific books - YA and otherwise - have inspired your own author’s journey?

RR: Lots of authors inspired my understanding of form, breaking the rules, and writing honestly.  But the book that inspired me to start writing was Born on the Fourth of July, by Ron Kovic.  It’s the memoir of a soldier who was shot and paralyzed, and ultimately became a leading voice of the anti-war movement.  I’d never read anything like it.  I still haven’t.  It was raw power. 

CLW: The theme is YA Fiction. What makes your top-five list in no particular order?

RR: I honestly don’t read enough of it to make any recommendations.  So maybe we should skip this one, ha-ha.

CLW: What are you working on now?

RR: My agent Shannon is currently shopping around my third book right now.  I am currently working on a television pilot, which has been interesting!

CLW: Where can readers find you?

RR: Well, I was supposed to be on tour through May but that’s been rescheduled due to the pandemic.  So, as long as I’m quarantined they can find me either inside my house listening to music or walking the streets with my dog Baby Biscuit.  Hopefully they’ll find me back on the road sooner than later!

Interested in finding out more about Rob Rufus and The Vinyl Underground? You can find him on Instagram at @rob_rufus, on Twitter @rob_rufus , and his website is www.robrufus.net

NEXT WEEK: Nancy Richardson Fischer &

The Speed of Falling Objects





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