Unhealthy Relationships and Romance Books

When I was 18 (this was in the early 1990’s), I was a small town girl living in a very conservative community where God, Family, and Country were the trifecta of life. Everyone had guns and used them for hunting season. It was commonplace to get married young—barely out of high school—to your high school sweetheart. All those beliefs perpetuated year after year. I say this to give you a frame of reference about my perspective at 18. I wanted to go to college, but I was the first one in my family to think about it. We didn’t have a lot of money or know-how about how to get there, but I did think: maybe there’s something else.

One thing I loved: reading.

We had one bookstore and a library. That’s where you could find me if I could find my way to either place.

As an adolescent, my favorite reads were romances. I started with the Sunfire Romances (long live the love triangle) and moved on to Sweet Valley High and Sweet Dreams books (oh the drama), and eventually I found my way to the adult romances reading Lavyrle Spencer and Judith McNaught (so that’s how sex works). I suspect that these readings shaped my belief system about my identity as it related to “romance” and relationships, though to be fair, I had an excellent model of a respectful relationship between my parents. 

Like any adolescent, I was ready to test the waters of relationships, and that’s where things got skewed. My fundamentalist, church background—reinforced by my parents—insisted that I shouldn’t date until I was sixteen. When I did venture into the dating arena, I was given a “purity ring” to reinforce chastity (no sex until there was a “ring on it”, peeps) which also loaded on a heap of guilt when it came to experimentation. Finally, I had this “romanticized” version of what it meant to be in a relationship, and no clarity on what an unhealthy one looked like.

Fast forward to 2022.

I didn’t marry my high school sweetheart. I moved away from that small town. I did get to college by the skin of my teeth and graduated. I did marry my college sweetheart and have been a mother to two amazing kids. I got my masters, have worked with teens, and I still read. 

Last year, I read the tiktok, booktok sensation Ugly Love by Colleen Hoover. It’s an entertaining book, and while I’m about to be critical of it; please know that this commentary isn’t a knock on the author or her ability to write a catchy book that draws a reader in. This is not that kind of criticism. 

When I finished and set Ugly Love down, I walked away from it with my stomach in knots. At first I couldn’t figure out why. It’s about a young woman in her early twenties who’s starting over in a new place. She’s just gotten a job as a nurse and moves in with her brother as a stop-gap until she can find her own place. Living across the hall is her brother’s best friend. There’s a lot of sexual chemistry between them, and so they both consent to a relationship with “no strings.” Except, like most “sex-only” relationships, feelings happen. What ensues is a story highlighting an often unhealthy and manipulative relationship rooted in emotional bankruptcy and trauma. Like any romance read, it ends with the “happily-ever-after” but after reflecting on what had bothered me about it, I realized I had read a glorified version of “If I stick around, I can fix him”, and I felt so sad for 18-year-old me. Why? That girl would have taken the message to heart. I wouldn’t have been able to separate the “romanticized” ideals with reality, even knowing it was fiction. 

Which then made me wonder: how many young women 18+ are reading books like Ugly Love (and believe me when I say there’s a lot of stories like this perpetuating a kind of “I can fix him” message) and taking to heart that message? Being set up to accept abusive behavior in a partner because it’s important to be “committed” or if she just “works harder”, then everything will turn out okay.

When I wrote The Stories Stars Tell, there was catharsis for me—the girl steeped in purity culture—to let go of those unhealthy messages about personal empowerment. I didn’t start the story knowing that was where it ended up. I didn’t start The Messy Truth About Love thinking that I would look at that unhealthy packaging of a relationship as “normal” and deconstruct it by reinforcing a healthy relationship. But that’s where it went.


And so that’s what I hope readers are able to take away from The Messy Truth About Love. Sometimes we don’t know we're in an unhealthy situation until we’re able to step out of it and look back as we walk away. And maybe, just maybe, The Messy Truth About Love will be the story someone needs to see their own situation or prevent one. I can hope.

Read More

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 8

One more week until The Cantos Chronicles releases March 31, 2020!

Good News! IndieReader.com gave Swimming Sideways, Cantos Chronicles Book 1 a 4.5 stars out of 5 stars rating! That means it’s considered a, “IndieReader Approved” designation and will go on their “BEST OF…” YA round up. That’s AWESOME!

One another note:

With the chaos of the current situation, I wasn’t sure if I should even post, but I decided that regardless, I’d committed to this Indie Author Marketing Road Trip. Though I’ve been grounded to a halt due to a very flat tire, a bent rim, and inclement conditions, but that’s part of the journey right? It begs the question: How do we adapt in the face of challenges.

This is pretty challenging. :)

So here we are.

  1. My events are cancelled for now. As difficult as this is to take, I’m choosing to look at it as an opportunity to develop and grow. I hope to eventually reschedule.

  2. My IG friends have come in clutch by posting. Thank you to them for keeping things visible. I appreciate it so much. I haven’t seen any of the reviewers post yet. Hope those are forthcoming.

  3. I’ve maintained my Social Media content - that’s about the extent to my abilities right now. It Is what it is.

  4. I’m working on April’s newsletter for my subscribers and some new work to share with them.

  5. I developed a #bookstagram challenge with the hashtag #quarINTEENd which I hope provides 1) something fun and creative to do in April while we’re all shut in; 2) sparks discussion between book lovers, and 3) adds to the community.

In light of the climate and the difficulties, I offered an Ebook copy of Swimming Sideways to interested readers via Instagram and Facebook. The offer still stands. You can sign up for my newsletter, you can email me (clwalters2015@gmail.com) or DM me on Instagram, and I will email you the ebook. This offer is valid until Tuesday, March 31. Happy reading.

Available March 31, 20202 in Ebook, Paperback and Hard Cover wherever books are sold.

Available March 31, 20202 in Ebook, Paperback and Hard Cover wherever books are sold.

Read More

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 7

If I thought I didn’t know if I was coming or going last week, this week it’s all about staying put. I’ve had to park it. At home. Social Distancing. And with no end in site, it makes me wonder what’s to come? Well, hopefully I’ll offer some interesting content. Here’s a vlog brought to you from the inside of my bathroom (LOL) as I reflect about this week.

In the grand scheme of my Independent Author Book Marketing road trip, the vehicle sort of stalled on the side of the road. I got pulled over by the police and escorted to the next motel where I’ve been directed to hang out for the next couple of weeks. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Great. What does this mean for book marketing? Long term, I don’t know. My events might be shot. Short term, I’ve got Social Media.

One of the things I mention in the vlog was publishing the Book Playlists on Instagram for each of the books in The Cantos Chronicles. One of the biggest necessities of marketing is identifying the target audience. As a YA Writer, I’m speaking to teens, specifically 16-18 year olds (though I’m beginning to wonder since my books seem to have a crossover adult appeal. This begs the question: am I marketing to the correct audience?) Since art of all kinds speaks so loudly to me, and every teen I have known speaks music, I decided a playlist might be a solid interactive experience).

I’ve begun to consider that this isn’t a short term game, but a long one. I’m in the process of building a relationship with readers. That’s going to take time and consistency. So while we might be “In the Wait” (Oh hey, head over to Wattpad to read those short vignettes if you’re interested in them), I need to continue to be vigilant in offering the strongest content I can to showcase who I am as a writer and as a person.

Rerelease day for The Cantos Chronicles is right around the corner (March 31, 2020) though they are available for PreOrder. Two more weeks!

Next Week: Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 8

Read More

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 5

The new covers are here!

The new covers are here!

The covers to The Cantos Chronicles are out! Swimming Sideways, The Ugly Truth and The Bones of Who We Are look glorious both online and in person, because guess what came in the mail this week!?!? The books. The reveal video is an agenda item for this coming week.

The cover reveals and the book trailer were the biggest agenda items for this fifth week on the Indie Marketing Journey. It was a giant mountain with several switch back hairpin turns, but we made it! Several days removed, I’m happy, hopeful and grateful for the reception of the covers and the trailer reinforcing the efforts I made this month, though gains will remain to be seen.

What else did I work on this week?

  1. My March Newsletter has been written and scheduled. One of my goals with the newsletter is to make it beneficial for people to sign up, so I offer items that only subscribers are provided. This month my subscribers are automatically entered into the next giveaway promotion as well as receive a deleted scene from Swimming Sideways that didn’t make it into the final version. I hope that things like this provide subscribers with the “extra” they are looking for by being subscribers.

  2. After making sure the March blitz is planned and ready, I’m in the process now of planning out the content for this coming month. If the first four weeks was about building the bond between readers and the characters of the books, this second four weeks will be about maintaining the connection, trying to create visibility, and generating excitement.

  3. My social media goals have also shifted some. While I am maintaining my author support system on IG, I am activity working to connect with my target audience. Last week, I wrote about posting to wattpad unsure about the cost-benefit analysis, but I can provide anecdotal evidence that I have had more people reading. Has this translated to people interested in committing to The Cantos Chronicles? I’m not sure yet, but I am hopeful.

Are you enjoying the journey with me? What have you tried? What are you thinking about? Talk to me so I don’t fall asleep at the wheel. Be sure to leave a comment. Oh, and would you turn up that song on the car radio too: “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee.

Next Week: Indie Author Marketing Update No. 6


Read More

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 1

My planning and writing space.

My planning and writing space.

This week marked the first steps into the eight week marketing blitz for the Cantos Chronicles, a completed YA Trilogy that’s undergoing a complete rebrand: new ISBNs, new covers, new interiors. With a ton of work (and money) invested in the rerelease, marketing and publicity to spread the word is even more important and has never been clearer how in over my head I am. But when has that ever stopped me?

Here’s what I did this week:

  1. My newsletter went out this week with the new covers of the trilogy. Lots of information out there insists that newsletter subscribers are an indie author’s most important asset. There is a definitive need to build this list and cultivate that relationship by providing subscribers with benefits that no one else is able to access. So - they were the first to have access to the new covers (which I’m ecstatic about) as well as new content of my work in progress. And wouldn’t you know it, I got a few emails from subscribers excited about them. Hooray!

  2. The second thing I did is begin the calling and planning of various events (book stores, media outlets, podcasts, etc). I’m not going to lie - this feels a lot more like doors slamming in my face than opening. The difficulty of this step is the lack of relationship which is really what a publicist provides. But without that added cost in my budget yet, I’m going to have to build these relationships on my own. Slammed doors aren’t enough to stop me; I’m searching the work around - the secret door. I’ll keep you posted.

  3. On instagram @cl.walters, I’m using an IG month challenge to begin connecting the Cantos Chronicles stories with followers. I have two months until the rerelease happens (March 31) so with eight weeks to go, I didn’t want to create brand weariness or blindness. Instead, I’m hoping this provides the ability to connect, think, and link reader interest with the writing and the characters. Additionally, I want to maintain current momentum with readers who have already enjoyed the series by offering new content. I chose #onewordpromptchallenge hosted by @mjvaughn1_author because of the way the challenge is open ended and I’ve found it inspires me creatively. The prompts have offered me a way to mingle new content with existing content. The hope is always to invite engagement on IG because that is what creates visibility. I’ll keep you posted on the effectiveness of this method. Two days in, engagement is low (big-eyed worried face).

With this week in the books, there’s a sliver of myself that’s worried. What if this is an epic fail? What if I sunk a ton of money into something that is dead on arrival? As a perfectionist, I’m putting a ton of pressure on myself - I can feel it. And then there’s a part of me that recognizes this journey is several marathons in succession - nothing worthwhile is built overnight. Even as cliche as it is, the cliche exists for a reason. That is why I wake up and try again everyday, because I know this dream is worth it. The hope, however, doesn’t necessarily calm the fears that I’m going to fall flat on my face. That’s the risk, though, I suppose. And I’m not sure I’ve been one to back down from the challenge, fear and all.

Next week: Indie Marketing Update No.2

Read More

The Bones of Who We Are: Gratitude

temp 3.PNG

It has been a week since The Bones of Who We Are released. A gorgeous week filled with support for Gabe and his story. I am so very grateful. I remember when I got to that point I was ready to share the story, how terrifying it was because I knew I’d taken a risk with his story, but with the wonderful and supportive feedback, I am so ecstatic.

John Green said in a Crash Course about Literature that when an author lets go of the story and gives it over to the audience, it ceases being the author’s story and becomes the readers’. I love this. So, I’d like to share some of the impressions Gabe’s story in THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE has provided to readers.

Flourish6.png
... the words were magic, each line so delicately put like a song you wanted to continue singing... the author sends you spiraling inside [Gabe’s] brain and his story ... and each step of the way, you become [his] cheerleader...
— Sophie Fahy, author
...it is rare to find a novel, a character that resembles oneself - at least for me - it was as if I was looking into a mirror... CL Walters talent for capturing, conjuring the essence of her characters is remarkable... [She] is a talent that you do not want to miss.
— W. Scott Brown, author
I became a fast fan of CL Walters after reading Swimming Sideways and The Ugly Truth. The Bones of Who We Are is a brilliant conclusion to the Cantos Chronicles YA Book Series.”
— Janine Caroline, author
Have to warn you, have tissues next to you while you read. You’ll need them.
— Mike Walters, author
The aspect that makes these books so good is that the themes, conflicts, and internal battles are deeply relatable...
— Sammi, a reader
Walters tackles heavy, important issues like Mental health and Racism with grace and tact - with a responsibility to the story without losing her voice. Beautifully paced, she drew me in but kept me guessing as the story moved to a breathless conclusion... This is a story everyone needs to read.
— Bethany, reader

Thank you so much to all of the readers who have read Gabe’s story. I am so deeply humbled and grateful for your willingness to take a chance on Swimming Sideways, The Ugly Truth and now, The Bones of Who We Are. Please continue to share your experience with me, with others. I believe in these stories, and it is so wonderful that you do too.

Available here

Available here

RSS Block
Select a Blog Page to create an RSS feed link. Learn more
Read More

The Bones of Who We Are: It's time.

It’s here! Tomorrow - Tuesday - October 1, 2019, The Bones of Who We Are is out. It’s been an arduous (thought fulfilling) adventure, and I couldn’t be more excited and proud of this story. I can’t wait to hear what you think of Gabe’s journey, so be sure to post a review to Amazon, share it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I’m looking forward to it.

[This story is] emotional and thought provoking. We all need a hand in finding the beauty within.
— Advance Reader
Martha and Dale . . .they smile laughing and dancing to music only they can hear. I’m at the dining table watching them and for a split second, I allow myself to think about a future I’ve never considered before...
— Gabe, The Bones of Who We Are
TBOWWA2.jpg
Read More

The Bones of Who We Are: A Difficult Story

TBOWWA Quote Card 12.jpg

My father - my rock - passed away in October 2017. I miss him everyday. I didn’t think I would ever find the words to write again. When I tried, all that made it to the page were visceral and painful images of where I was stuck: my cave. About six months later, I was sitting at a traffic light and heard Abby say “I need you to write my story.” The pilot light was relit, and I found my way through a new draft of SWIMMING SIDEWAYS. 

The summer of 2018, with SWIMMING SIDEWAYS and THE UGLY TRUTH drafted, I went home to Oregon for a month to help my mom and sister go through my father’s things. Most of the month was spent broken-hearted, trudging through necessary spaces. I cleaned the garage breathing in my father’s work space and going through each of his tools. This was something my mother wasn’t going to be able to do. My dad and his workshop were symbiotic; he could fix anything, and his workshop reflected this. So, immersion in his workshop, going through each of his toolboxes and trinkets, the jars of things he saved because they’d come in handy one day, cracked me open. Somehow, in the breaking of my heart and the diligent reorganization of his things, I was able to assemble the broken parts of myself back together. It was during this four weeks in Oregon that I began drafting Gabe’s story, and as I stitched myself back together, Gabe’s began to unravel.

I’ve warned readers that Gabe’s story isn’t an easy story to experience, and that is because THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE deals with heavy topics: bullying, depression, identity, loss, grief. Maybe in a way, the loss of my father is reflected in the pain of Gabe. My pain became his, though Gabe’s story was always this, I just couldn’t write it before. The pivotal scene in the book - the reason Gabe is who he is - was written back in 2009, eight years before I lost my father; nine years before I went through his workshop and faced my own undoing. 

Perhaps, I was never going to be equipped to tell Gabe’s story without understanding the complete loss of someone so essential to my own identity. Perhaps, sitting inside my father’s workshop by myself allowed me to grasp loss, life, and grief in a way I never would have without that struggle. As writers our life experiences impact the depth of our knowledge. Virginia Woolf wrote, “Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.” So, I suppose by realizing how painful it was to look at my father’s empty steel-toed work boots and be slammed with the awareness of how much I missed him, it forced me to jump into the deep end of loss. When the only thing I could do was climb into bed and bury myself in romance novels because those stories were as much as I could handle to not sink and drown, I found a way to tread water. Perhaps, this trial was the only way I was ever going to be able to empathize with Gabe’s experience. 

THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE isn’t an easy story, but then life, love, loss, grief never are. That is the truth of what it means to be human. We hurt, but there is power in the warmth of hope. That - the hope - is what my father would have loved about Gabe’s story.

NEXT WEEK: A Letter from Gabe to readers

Read More

The Bones of Who We Are: Journey to Gabe

When Gabe became a character in my mind, he started as a fallen angel. There was something magical and beautiful about him in those first drafts of the original paranormal story. He was the blameless sacrifice - the Christ figure - idealized in all his beauty and glory. Then in 2009, I was teaching a class on creativity and in our daily pages, I wrote a heartbreaking scene that I couldn’t shake. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the character was Gabe as a child, and it shattered the paranormal drafts of the work-in-progress at the time. Nothing already drafted could stand if I used the scene. What the heck was I supposed to do with that, I wondered. 

So the scene sat in my head as an unresolved issue with Gabe’s character. I put the manuscript - two years and nine drafts completed - away (partially because of this unresolved issue, but mostly because a wave of fallen angel stories broke in 2009 and 2010).

In 2015, Seth - the loudest of the three characters - who’d been dragged into hell at the end of the first paranormal story, began nagging me about having left him there. I pulled the story out again. I was teaching Homer’s Odyssey and the Hero’s Journey to my freshman at the time, and decided to plot Seth’s story using Chris Volgler’s work, and suddenly something clicked. The story was there, but I believed it to be a stand alone novel assuming Abby and Gabe were just secondary characters. So, I finished THE UGLY TRUTH in 2016; I was never happy with its ending. My family and friends enjoyed it (or pretended to), but I couldn’t get the nagging feeling out of my head and heart that the ending was all wrong. 

So, it sat for another two years.

Then in March of 2018, I was sitting at a traffic light, waiting, and I heard Abby say in my head, “I need you to finish my story.” In that moment, it dawned on me that all three of them needed their own story. Abby. Seth. Gabe. With Seth’s already done, I went back to the original paranormal manuscript to see if there was anything salvageable for Abby and Gabe. With a ton of cutting, rewriting, and creating new content, Abby’s story, SWIMMING SIDEWAYS, came together, but like Seth’s narrative, I struggled with the ending. I couldn’t figure out how it was supposed to connect until it dawned on me: Abby’s story was first and both she and Seth’s stories were necessary in order to tell Gabe’s. Like finding the last pieces of a puzzle being put into place, I understood the whole story in three parts. The entire series had been moving toward the culmination of Gabe’s narrative all along. 

That quiet, painful scene I wrote back in 2009, suddenly made sense, and served as the cornerstone around which Gabe’s entire story is built. 

The aesthetic I made for Gabe’s story.

The aesthetic I made for Gabe’s story.

Next week: the difficulty of writing Gabe’s story .



Read More

Latest Posts