BY GRIFFIN NICHOLS
I’m writing this at 11:46pm the night before it’s due. A choice, and probably not a good one. I know it isn’t the best policy to meet a deadline with any kind of efficiency, and the consequence is you’ll probably get a sh… crappy blog post. Look, writing and sharing sh...stuff isn’t really my thing. Regardless, CL insisted because she has this weird idea that more people should have access to my story, so they should get to know me better. Ummm, okay. Whatever. That’s sort of weird. But I’ll play along. For her. I’d rather just sort of stay in my lane, you know?
She told me the theme this week is choice and consequence. Dude… I know about this sh… stuff. That’s probably why she asked me. My life is riddled with this idea and not only for me, but for my family in general. I mean, look at my dad: gets into selling weapons and drugs and off to prison he goes, leaving us behind. That’s a sh...crap consequence. Has an affair with someone, which results in another kid. All these choices he made that didn’t only affect him, but each of us, you know?
I guess I’ve fallen into the same pattern of being careless with my choices, even if I don't want to think about it. Truth be told though, a few months ago I wouldn’t have even had that thought. I was content to just party with my boys, make fu… stupid choices, and mess sh… stuff up. I didn’t really care about anything except my friends and how we were together. It’s only been since the fight I had with Tanner, my best friend, that I’ve even considered what it all means for myself. It’s weird to think that sometimes bad sh… things have to happen in order for us to open our eyes and see the truth about stuff.
And that sucks.
Choices and consequences come back to patterns, don't they? I was in a party pattern with my friends. It worked until it didn’t, and now I’m having to figure out a new pattern that works better. New choices. Varied outcomes that hopefully put me on a better path. I guess when I got to that place I needed to look at that pattern, and could finally see it, I had to ask myself: what now?
That’s it. That’s all I got. Not super profound or anything. I just figure it is what it is, you know? See it. Fix it. Move on. But look, it’s taken me a while to get to this point, and I have a lot of people in my life now to thank for getting there.
