Fantasy, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process Cami Fantasy, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process Cami

April Challenge: Update No. 3

I’m cranky.

Maybe that isn’t the best way to start off a blog about the Work in Progress, but this story is so hard to grab ahold of and hang onto. It feels like trying to hold onto water. Just when I think: Oh! That’s it! the idea slips away. This hasn’t kept me from writing forward, however. I’m still just getting story—the good, the bad and the ugly—on the page.

So the stats:

  1. I wrote 5 of the 7 days.

  2. I wrote approximately 7,000 words this week for a total word count for April of 26,000 words give or take a few.

  3. I don’t think I’ll make a 50,000 words added, but I do think I’ll have a rough idea of the book beginning to end, and that was what I’d hoped for.

  4. One more week to go…

So, as promised, here’s some story info about this book tentatively titled Deconstructing Cale Elysian:

The original blurb:

For nearly nineteen years, Cale Elysian has lived a sheltered life. Whether it’s in the country manor where he resides with his family or the dormitory school life that he’s shared with his friends, he knows little beyond the confines of this existence. And lately, that awareness has begun to fester into wishing there was more, wishing he was more. He feels like a blank slate and no prospects to change it. Unable to go with his friends on the traditional, celebratory Grande Tour around the continent of Anola following their Year 7 exams, Cale resigns himself to the fact he’ll have to live vicariously through their stories when they return. He can't change the characteristic overprotectiveness of his father or the fact his step-mother is dying, after all. 

But when two strangers show up at the manor house with a magical item and dangerous intent, Cale realizes that not only has his father’s overprotectiveness been warranted but that magic, he thought was only in stories, exists. More outlandish, Cale learns that he and his father have powerful magical abilities that have had them in hiding. Worst of all, Cale comprehends his father has been lying to him his entire life. 

Separated from his family and on the run from a danger he can’t identify, Cale is ill-equipped to navigate the complexities of the world. Though he has a treasure map of memories his father gave him as a path to his true self, his strongest assets are his best friends, Yoneo, Jem and Domis who await the adventure of the Grande Tour of Anola. While Cale hides in plain sight among them, his odyssey will challenge everything he’s ever believed about himself and his family. It will test and define his relationships with his friends in new and complicated ways. By the time he collects the last of the hidden memories, Cale will have to decide once and for all who he really wants to be.


The Cast of Characters

Cale: The main character. It’s his journey of self-discovery. He learns he has a magical ability and everything he understood about who he is has been a lie. The most complacent of the group, Cale usually has gone with the flow, but now, his old ways of being have been stripped away as he begins to redefine who he is.

Yoneo: Cale’s best friend. They met when they were ten, and have gone through all of their school years together as dorm mates. Yoneo is wise. Of the group, he’s the one most likely to diffuse a fight.

Jem: The most rambunctious of the group, Jem is willing to do anything for a good time and a laugh. He’s got the privilege and the money to back up his escapades, but he’s also a hot-head, so watch out when he’s angry. He’s the activity director of the group, he has all the best ideas for getting into trouble, and out of it.

Domis: The logistician of the group, Domis is who everyone goes to when they need to think a problem through. Jem’s roommate for all their years at school, he’s also the best one to pull Jem from one of his moody funks.

Siha: The newest addition to the group, Siha has the most street smarts of the bunch. She’s wily and wise when it comes to keeping them safe from whatever is on their trail.

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Author life, writing process Cami Author life, writing process Cami

April Challenge: Update No. 2

An IMPORTANT bit of Writer Wisdom

(Which I often forget)

Good news! My daughter is home after nearly a year away. Oh how I missed her.

FC97100A-CE62-475D-8971-5FA4D85F9443.jpeg

Bad news: I didn’t write for three of the seven days I was supposed to, choosing to spend time with her, instead.

Oops . . .

Here’s my two cents: I know that I often get caught up in my writing. The narrative, the characters, the thinking that happens in that process sweep me away like a current so that I forget to be present in real life. I could feel guilty for not writing (and often do), but am choosing not to. Being present is so important, and though I have to remind myself to do that very thing—to be in the moment IRL—those aren’t moments than I can get back.

So maybe I didn’t get enough writing done, or I failed on my goal to write everyday. O’well. It will still be there. I will pick it back up and keep moving forward.

I vow not to miss out on the important stuff (or guilt myself for missing the writing).

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Author life, writing process Cami Author life, writing process Cami

April Challenge: Update No. 1

5 Things I’ve learned this week about my drafting process:

Perfectionism - oppressor.png

I’ve added over 10,000 new words to my 82,000 word draft this week, which brings to word count total to around 92,000. Word count, shmurd count, turd count. Honestly, the quality of those words are crap, but I knew this going in, and I admitted it before even beginning.

So here are things I learned this week about myself as a drafter and about the word count:

  1. I will avoid climbing the mountain of drafting like I avoid exercise. This procrastination lasts until I can’t anymore. But, I am also motivated by being held accountable to the external impetus (YOU), so though I procrastinate, I am still writing forward (at the last possible moment).

  2. Once I’m sitting down to write, there isn’t much to get in my way including family or dogs who might attempt to interrupt. You need to go outside to pee, dog? Hold it. 

  3. I get really cranky when I’m drafting. Don’t talk to me or I might bite your head off (poor family).

  4. When I get stuck, I follow the Peter Elbow model of writing forward: the freewrite (which means I just word vomit on the page to get myself thinking again. So I have a bunch of words that aren’t even connected to the story but are rather my own subconscious conversing with my conscious self, then suddenly I’m back in the narrative, moving on with the story). Keep in mind, that word count report is padded with a bunch of words that won’t even be in the story.

  5. If the Peter Elbow Freewrite doesn’t get me moving, I know instinctively that it’s because I don’t understand something about the character and the conflict. So my next step is to jump into a character interview. Remember how I said the word count is padded with words that won’t make it into the story. Yes. The character interview is one of the reasons why.

  6. Bonus: Word counts aren’t very motivating for me, but coloring in the calendar I made, super motivating. Posting to TikToc and Reelz has also been fun even if getting the words was slighly torturous. I also feel accomplished when I’ve written something that feels like a keeper or that I realized helped me understand something that will contribute to a scene. Those are gems.

I keep reminding myself that the  goal for April isn’t about the word count, even if that’s how I’m holding myself accountable (which means I may relook at how I’m reporting the progress). The goal is to finish the draft of this story. While there’s a modicum of some stuff that will be salvageable in what I’ve written this week, it’s going to take a lot of revision and rewriting to make it useful. On the flipside, however, there is something there to work with that wasn’t there before. I have a trash heap to go through to find what’s usable. 

Remind me: It does not have to be perfect. DOWN WITH THE OPPRESSOR (thanks for that, Anne Lamott).

Next week: Weekly update Number 2

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Fiction, New Fiction, Writer's Life, writing process Cami Fiction, New Fiction, Writer's Life, writing process Cami

April Challenge: Finishing the Draft

Have I ever mentioned I was writing a fantasy book? Probably once or twice if you’ve been following my writing journey for any length of time. Or maybe this is new information. I started writing it over ten years ago, and for the last ten years I’ve started and stopped and tinkered and dabbled. The story has undergone a series of overhauls because I inevitably get stuck. A year ago—almost to the date—I scrapped everything I’d written chalking it up to world-building and started over. Over the last year, I’ve gotten the closest to a finished draft than I ever have, which is both exciting and terrifying.

Fantasy.png


Why?

Because this book has become my personal Camino de Santiago, my creative pilgrimage. Despite my many years of writing and having written ten books over my lifetime, this book has been the one that alludes me and makes me feel like I’m fooling myself as a writer. I set it as a goal, the unattainable one that is a moving target of someday. 

As a contemporary writer for the most part, there is safety in the known. I can draw from the world around me. I can create a place rooted in the safety of a world that exists in the here and now. The process for writers of historical and fantasy face a different challenges, and for fantasy, specifically, one of those challenges is building a world, its inhabitants and its systems from scratch.

And I’m close!

I made a promise to myself to use April as the month to finish the draft (or work hard trying to do it).  April is here.

So here are the current Fantasy WIP stats:

  • This WIP is currently at 82,000 words.

  • It is tentatively titled: Deconstructing Cale Elysian.

  • There is one main protagonist—Cale— with a cast of “found-family” characters around him.

  • While the story would be categorized as a high fantasy because it is in a brand new world with new systems, the story is driven by low fantasy elements to keep it grounded. 

  • There is a magic system.

What I hope to accomplish this month (so you can hold me accountable):

  • I want to add around 50,000 words (like during NaNoWriMo), or as many as I need to get this book close to a finished draft.

  • I’d like to shut down my perfectionist tendencies and just write forward (it has been harder with this book than my others).

  • I’d like to share my weekly updates with you here and on Instagram each Wednesday. 

That’s it.

Fantasy2.png


Here’s a snippet of what’s been written. This is from the POV of Cale’s best friend Yoneo:

Yoneo squinted in the darkness of his tiny attic room of their family cottage. Wondering if he heard something, he waited. After a few seconds, he closed his eyes again and rolled over deciding one of his sisters—probably Teniko, who was hiding a new, secret lover—was sneaking back into the house. The brin coursing through his system was wearing off, leaving a nasty headache in its wake which required sleep. When he heard the tap again, his eyes snapped open; he sat up and groaned. 

“Teniko, if that’s you, I’m going to kill you,” he whispered it to no one in particular since if it was in fact his sister, she wasn’t in the room. 

Being stuck between a quartet of sisters was a challenge in and of itself, add the extra pressure of being the only boy and it increased exponentially. The oldest sister, Nika, had paired last summer and lived in Billerdem with her partner, but that left the other three, Kira just above him, Teniko who was just below him in birth order and drove him crazy most of the time, and then the youngest Martika. While he had lots of attention, it was often too much, and his dad wasn’t much of a respite wanting him to be the strong silent type he could count on while his sisters nagged him to share his feelings. It was exhausting. 

Yoneo rolled from the comfort of his bed and slogged his way around Teniko’s bed where his sister was actually sleeping.  Which meant, if it wasn’t her, it was someone else. His heart picked up speed wondering who in the blister of the dark would be throwing pebbles at his window. Probably Jem since he’d be the only one likely to do something so irrational. But that didn’t make any sense. Yoneo loosened the fastener and pushed the window open, not particularly concerned it would be someone dangerous. They lived in the tiny village of Brockton, for light’s sake. 

“Yo?” A familiar voice sort of whispered up from the garden below.

“Cale? What are you doing? Your dad is going to kill you!” Yoneo whispered back.

“Can I come up?”

“Wait. I’m coming down.” Shock flooded his system. Cale sneaking about was like Hah stopping its rotation around the suns and then changing direction to go around the opposite way.

He moved through the cottage with care avoiding the creaks of the old home. Like the third step on the way down the stairs along with one right at the bottom that seemed to have an odd thump when you removed your weight. He took a wide step just the other side of his parents bedroom door to avoid the squeaking floorboard, and when he opened up the door, he made sure to do it slowly so it didn’t groan. 

His friend was nowhere to be seen in the yard, the bushes, the herbs and flowers his mother coddled looking more like a wild meadow than a manicured garden. “Cale?” Yoneo whispered into the dark. 

Cale stepped out from behind a tall shrub. It was difficult to see him in the dark, though the moon provided some light, but not enough to chase away the shadows. He looked weird. And lumpy.

“What are you doing? I thought you were sick,” he said. “Come.”

Cale moved down the walk and into the house, looking behind him as he went.

“What’s going on?” Yoneo asked once they were inside and the door shut behind them.

Yoneo’s father coughed, and he held a finger to his lips. It wasn’t that his dad would be angry that Cale was there, but the man loved his sleep he had so little of it. His temper was formidable. “Wait,” he whispered, went up the stairs retracing his silent steps, grabbed some blankets, and returned to Cale the same way. The difficulty of having so many people in a tiny little cottage meant there was no space. “The barn,” he whispered and led the way to the out building.

When they were safely inside and out of the hearing of his family, Yoneo asked again. “What’s going on?”

Cale’s face, despite its usually golden glow, looked pale and stricken. 

“Are you still sick?”

Cale flopped into a pile of straw and it was then what had made his friend look lumpy; he was carrying a bag. “I’m not sick.” Cale finally said after some time.

“Are you running away?”

“You could say that. I’m going on The Tour.”








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Am Writing, Book Marketing, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Independent Author, portrait of an artist, Swimming Sideways, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process, YA Contemporary, YA Series, YALit, Young Adult Cami Am Writing, Book Marketing, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Independent Author, portrait of an artist, Swimming Sideways, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process, YA Contemporary, YA Series, YALit, Young Adult Cami

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 6

Are we coming or going at this point? I’m not sure. It would seem I’m just following the road, windows down, music blasting and hoping beyond all hopes that the car is headed in the right direction. At least I have you all with me.

We just passed the week six marker. SIX WEEKS!?! Can you believe it? Feels like yesterday that I started this Independent Author Marketing Series, and now we’re here at the six week mark. Three weeks left until The Cantos Chronicles rereleases, and though it’s difficult to tell with accuracy, *preorders seem strong (which potentially is exciting).

*based on numbers provided by wholesale book distributor.

The Cantos Chronicles

The Cantos Chronicles

The method to keep things on the road this week involved these check list items:

Social Media

I listened to a great 15 minute podcast by Mixtus Media this week that purported it isn’t necessary to spread yourself too thin by doing ALL Social Media hotspots. Maybe that’s a little like visiting Disneyland and California Adventure and trying to do both parks and all the rides in one day. Instead, chose the format that works best and commit to that one. My favorite is Instagram. I touch base on Facebook. I’m rarely on Twitter. I do a drop in of Tumblr, but I spend the bulk of my social media presence on good old IG.

My GOAL for IG this week was to offer a bit more character depth to potential readers. All three protagonists (Abby, Seth and Gabe) were featured in my stories. Truthfully, I don’t think it worked as well as I had hoped. It was my fault - the premise of asking characters questions operates on the assumption that people already know them. What do you ask if you haven’t read the story? On the other hand, people who have read the stories saved me by asked some questions. Those answers may have offered potential readers food for thought. What do you think?

I don’t think the idea is a bad one, just perhaps that the execution could have been better.

Add to the Instagram mix, my awesome helpers on the book review and book recommendation blitz have been posting - one a day. That has been lovely to see and share. Anyone see a post from someone else that sparked your attention?

One more social media point was the completion of a flash giveaway on Instagram. It was a quick: “First 10 people to comment about some such or other will receive an ebook copy of Swimming Sideways.” It moved quickly, ten people received the ebook and hopefully they LOVE it! My thinking was to get some advanced copies out into the world to 1) generate excitement, 2) provide an early copy, and 3) perhaps inspire more people to share.

Book Signing

Further planning was done for a book signing at my local Barnes & Noble in Honolulu. With the Hawaii Literacy Project contacted and the event planners at my local B&N on board, the end of April or early May is looking like it might be a real possibility; I will use my newsletter to announce an event like this. When the plan solidifies, it will be a bit like turning full circle because I started this journey way back in November and it became the impetus for the entire rebrand of The Cantos Chronicles books.

Other Bookish Events

I contacted two local book events: A children’s literature conference held in June as well as a Book Festival held in October. I applied to both as a panelist and vendor and will be presenting at the Children’s Literature Conference in June! Still waiting to hear back on the second event, but I will keep you posted. This means I will have an event in April, perhaps one in May, one in June, one in July, am working on October and still waiting to hear back about November.

In addition to those events, I met with a high school librarian to develop a workshop for high school students about creativity. This presentation will happen at the high school where I work in April, but I’ll get to serve in a different capacity outside the realm of classroom teacher and stepping into the role of published author.

Finally, I’m giving away all of the remaining ARCs of the books to my students. They are super excited and don’t care that there are editorial mistakes in the books. Their response was: “Mrs. C, we won’t even know the mistakes are there.” (I don’t know if that is a reflection of my teaching or something else - LOL).


Wrap Up

The road is stretched out ahead of us. Are we going the right direction? I think so. I’m feeling confident, accomplished and filled with hope that where ever the road leads is exactly where I’m supposed to go. Did I have some missed turns -yeah, I think so - but that’s learning, right? With Week Six Independent Author Road Trip Marketing Journey stretched out along the asphalt behind us, we’re on to Week Seven. Only two more blogs until The Cantos Chronicles rerelease, and a final post to wrap up the road trip. I am super interested to know what you’ve noticed over the last six weeks? What has stood out? What kinds of questions are popping up for you? How can any of my experiences help inform you moving forward? Be sure to follow me on IG (@cl.walters) and keep an eye out for questions about this series in a couple of weeks.

Next week: Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 7

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Book Club Read, Book Marketing, Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Coming of Age, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Independent Author, New Fiction, Swimming Sideways, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth, writing process, YA Contemporary, YALit, Young Adult, YA Series Cami Book Club Read, Book Marketing, Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Coming of Age, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Independent Author, New Fiction, Swimming Sideways, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth, writing process, YA Contemporary, YALit, Young Adult, YA Series Cami

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 5

The new covers are here!

The new covers are here!

The covers to The Cantos Chronicles are out! Swimming Sideways, The Ugly Truth and The Bones of Who We Are look glorious both online and in person, because guess what came in the mail this week!?!? The books. The reveal video is an agenda item for this coming week.

The cover reveals and the book trailer were the biggest agenda items for this fifth week on the Indie Marketing Journey. It was a giant mountain with several switch back hairpin turns, but we made it! Several days removed, I’m happy, hopeful and grateful for the reception of the covers and the trailer reinforcing the efforts I made this month, though gains will remain to be seen.

What else did I work on this week?

  1. My March Newsletter has been written and scheduled. One of my goals with the newsletter is to make it beneficial for people to sign up, so I offer items that only subscribers are provided. This month my subscribers are automatically entered into the next giveaway promotion as well as receive a deleted scene from Swimming Sideways that didn’t make it into the final version. I hope that things like this provide subscribers with the “extra” they are looking for by being subscribers.

  2. After making sure the March blitz is planned and ready, I’m in the process now of planning out the content for this coming month. If the first four weeks was about building the bond between readers and the characters of the books, this second four weeks will be about maintaining the connection, trying to create visibility, and generating excitement.

  3. My social media goals have also shifted some. While I am maintaining my author support system on IG, I am activity working to connect with my target audience. Last week, I wrote about posting to wattpad unsure about the cost-benefit analysis, but I can provide anecdotal evidence that I have had more people reading. Has this translated to people interested in committing to The Cantos Chronicles? I’m not sure yet, but I am hopeful.

Are you enjoying the journey with me? What have you tried? What are you thinking about? Talk to me so I don’t fall asleep at the wheel. Be sure to leave a comment. Oh, and would you turn up that song on the car radio too: “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee.

Next Week: Indie Author Marketing Update No. 6


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Book Marketing, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Independent Author, New Adult, New Fiction, portrait of an artist, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process, Young Adult, Book Trailer Cami Book Marketing, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Independent Author, New Adult, New Fiction, portrait of an artist, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process, Young Adult, Book Trailer Cami

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 2

Watch the video to learn about the eight things I did this week on my marketing journey. Let me know what you think in the comments, or share with me on FB or IG. Feel free to share it.

Heads up: Something happens with the sound at the last thirty seconds. I mainly spoke about how I was struggling with the amount of efforts and the fears about the outcome - the doubts that the amount of effort expended would create the desired outcome. But I also expressed that rationally, I know that it is necessary - that I am hopeful that what I am doing will be fruitful.

BTW - anyone watch the first season of Castle Rock? Tell me that sound doesn’t resemble the noise in the woods. Or, share with me the story of that sound! (It’s creepy !). Happy writing.

Next week: Indie Marketing Update No. 3

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Adult Fiction, Books to Read, Character, CL Walters, Fiction, Romance, Romance Novel, The Letters She Left, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process Cami Adult Fiction, Books to Read, Character, CL Walters, Fiction, Romance, Romance Novel, The Letters She Left, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process Cami

The Letters She Left Behind: Character Interview

theletterssheleftbehind_updated.jpg

The sun is shining on a December day in Hawaiʻi. Palm trees sway in a trade wind breeze and it’s balmy but cool, enough so that a light sweater is comfortable. Adam Kāne and Alexandra James agreed to take some time out of their busy schedules to speak with me about their starring roles in an upcoming novel, The Letters She Left Behind. This isn’t the first time I’ve met them. We met for the first time about sixteen years ago, then again just shy of a calendar year during the most recent revision of the story.

Having lived in Hawaiʻi most of their lives, both of them embody the lifestyle. Adam arrives first. He’s a Hawaiian local, born and raised on Oʻahu. He arrives like the gentle trade winds, calm and cool, as much a part of the landscape as the ocean shoreline he surfs, or the razor-sharp mountains that cut the sky. Dressed casually in black chinos and a white v-neck tee, people stop and greet him at our table. He seems to know everyone and people are drawn to him, but it isn’t just his manner of dress or his handsome demeanor. His smile is bright infectious, reaches his brown eyes drawing in those he talks to and makes it easy to spill secrets. In fact, he is more apt to listen rather than talk though he has so many things about which he can discuss.

Alex - arriving from her job as a gender studies professor at Hawaiʻi State University - wasn’t born in Hawaiʻi. Actually, she admits to being born on the East coast of the US, then moved across country with her family when she was around five to California. That’s where she met Megan (Adam’s late wife), who she refers to as her sister. Like Adam, she embodies island living. Her sleeveless coral linen dress translates not only to local but equally to those students she might be teaching who aren’t from Hawaiʻi. While I observed her and her conversation with Adam, I had the feeling I was the one being observed. Perhaps a bit of a chameleon, Alex is able to fit right into the moment of the interview, but it’s easy to imagine how she might command an auditorium full of students. She is independent, passionate and intelligent.

I was taken with their story. It stuck with me for sixteen years, so it made sense why I’d want to take some time to connect with them in the aftermath.

Thank you, Adam and Alex, for agreeing to talk with me about The Letters She Left Behind. I know that living in my head has probably been a bit stifling. Was it worth the wait?

Adam: Definitely. I’m a patient guy.

Alex: Sure, though it’s difficult sitting around and waiting for you to get your act together.

Hahaha! Wow. Okay. Why do I feel like there’s more in those answers than meets the eye.

Alex: I’m not one for being passive aggressive, CL, but you did write the story. You know.

Adam: (chuckles and shakes his head): Patience is a virtue. So is biting one’s tongue when necessary.

Moving on then. Without giving any spoilers, what do you like best about your story?

Alex:  Megan. While she doesn’t make a huge appearance in the story, her part in the journey is equally important to the entire narrative on so many levels. I love that about her starring role. The way it all comes together.

Adam: Me too. I also like how there is the sense of time. The way life works sometimes to bend and twist in order to get you where you need to go when the timing is just right. It’s like as much as you might want something right now, it isn’t the right time for it.

Kind of like this story. Sixteen years ago, when I wrote it, I was in my early thirties and here I was writing about grief and second chances. Perhaps I needed additional time and world view to draw the story together. On another note, there’s this point in the narrative when both of you see yourself - or the truth of who you are - outside of the fear. Can you comment on how that moment or moments like that are impactful.

Adam: I know exactly the moment you’re referencing, though I would say I had more than one of these sort of ah ha moments. It’s like that one step forward, two steps back paradigm. A person discovers a truth about themselves. Moves forward and then regresses until another discovery occurs. I think most times, for me anyway, those self-discoveries or facing those honest truths can be painful, which is why we regress.

Alex: I think so too, which is why sometimes we don’t face them. It’s easier just to stay in one place because the threat of change might be more than we can accept.  I know that for my part in the story, this fear of things being different was paralyzing.

I love that scene - when you walk into the ocean, Alex. It was pivotal for your character.

Alex: Yes. Truly makes the difference in the overall movement of my journey.

What about you, Adam? Is there a pivotal scene for your character?

Adam: There are a few, but I don’t want to give anything away by sharing them. I can say at the beginning of the story, I’ve been in a tailspin of grief for nearly a year. I’m raw at the opening, at the precipice of either burying myself in it completely, or doing something different. Megan’s journals were pivotal for me. Without them - well, there wouldn’t be a story.

Let’s talk a little bit about place and culture. As a Hawaiian, Adam, do you think your ethnicity is relevant to the story?

Adam: Not so much. I think I represent a Hawaiian male, but I don’t necessarily embody the cultural values of being Hawaiian, if that makes sense. In all fairness, I would add that who I am is on the edge of understanding my own Hawaiian identity. With the loss of language and culture, how does one rediscover those losses when you’re disconnected from them?

Alex: Do you think that lack of culture then misrepresents you in the story?

Adam: No. I feel like it accurately represents that it is a missing piece in my life, but more could be done to explore that. Maybe not in this story, but perhaps in others. But I think place is explored and the usage of  ʻOlelo Hawaiʻi vocabulary which add depth to an understanding that Hawaiʻi is more than a tourist destination.

Funny you mention stories to explore that. I’m working on a story for Trey. I don’t know if it will be a short story or longer - beginning stages - but that idea of cultural rediscovery is a theme I’m noticing as I work on it. Speaking of secondary characters, who do you think will be a fan favorite?

Adam: The kids.

Alex: The kids.

Neither of you are partial… Why the kids?

Alex: Each of them are unique and bring a whole different dimension to the story. Without them, I think the story wouldn’t be as layered.

Adam: I agree. I’d like to see them all with their own stories.

What are you hoping happens with your story?

Alex: I hope that a reader can close the book and feel like “Wow, I don’t need to worry about that thing anymore.” I think it’s easy to get caught up in the minutia of our lives and forget the big picture, the what’s really important.

Adam: That! Yes. And to remember that life is a journey. It doesn’t stop. It moves forward and we move along the timeline with it. Sometimes we’re blindsided, sometimes we’re broken, but always the timeline continues. Something else I hope people remember - we can’t live it alone. Along the way, we need those special people to share it with in some capacity.

Thank you for hanging out in my head for a bit.

Look for The Letters She Left Behind on sale 1/14/20

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CL Walters, Fiction, New Fiction, Romance, Romance Novel, The Letters She Left, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process, Adult Fiction Cami CL Walters, Fiction, New Fiction, Romance, Romance Novel, The Letters She Left, Writer, Writer's Life, writing process, Adult Fiction Cami

The Letters She Left Behind: Annotated Playlist

RE-RELEASE JANUARY 14, 2019

RE-RELEASE JANUARY 14, 2019

The Letters She Left Behind is the story of second chances, about friendship, and what we’ll do to protect those we love.

This is an annotated music playlist of music I listened to while writing THE LETTERS SHE LEFT BEHIND. This constant soundtrack while writing Adam’s and Alex’s story provided gorgeous inspiration for my process; this playlist can be found on Spotify called “Letters She Left”.

“Motion”

KHALID

The opening scene of Letters is very sexual. These lyrics say, “I’m in love with the moment// to me fallin’// to me goin’” The lyrics, the beat, the smooth way the notes spin the story of the song speaks so well to the prologue and how that scene unfolds.

“Bed”

SYML

This song was a late addition but when I heard it, it made me think about Alex’s experience and how memories might wrap us up and perhaps lock us in. “My skin hurts without your touch// I didn’t want to think or ask too much, but I didn’t know better// Kids in the dark// In the still of the night.” Hits me in the feels.

“Naive”

RKCB

In the story, we discover that Alex has written a letter to Megan (Adam’s late wife). We don’t find out what’s in it until later in the story (major plot point) because Megan has left this letter for Adam to find. That is exactly what Alex is terrified of happening. The lyrics in this song reminds me of Alex. “I’ll write you every letter// I know you’ll never read//To know there’s someone out there dreaming of you in their sleep.”

“Gravity”

SARA BAREILLES

Another Alex song along with the first appearance of Sara Bareilles. This song (released in 2007) wasn’t even around when I wrote the story, but it sure seems like it could have been written for Alex.  “Something always brings me back to you// it never takes too long//...//You hold me without touch// You keep me without chains// I’ve never wanted anything so much as to drown in your love// And not feel your reign.” Perfect, right?

“Forgiven”

VANCOUVER SLEEP CLINIC

This song isn’t ripe with words other than the repeated word combination, “Don’t Forgiven.” The haunting melody just worked, especially as I was writing Adam.

“1000 Times”

SARA BAREILLES

Second appearance by Sara Bareilles, and again we return to how I imagined Alex’s one-sided love she has for Adam that she’s spent a lifetime hiding. “Eyes on the ground//Don’t want to give it away//My secret.” 

“Josephine”

RITUAL w/ LISA HANNIGAN

I have loved this song so much for a very long time, but as I started rewriting Adam’s and Alex’s story, it happened to come on and I stopped. Had to close my eyes and listen. “I knew I had tasted love…”

“Under You”

Nick Jonas

This song (which is eerily similar to Taylor Swift’s “Style” btw - seriously, have you listened to them one after the other?) is just for the pop-music fun of it. The beat, the lyrics are all just so great adding to the “sexy” vibe I wanted as I wrote.

“Hurt Somebody”

NOAH KAHAN w/ JULIA MICHAELS

I think both Adam and Alex as characters are flawed, and like all humans they’ve hurt one another with secrets. This song reminded me of that and how even in the black and white of actions, the gray area is where life happens. “It’s harder than I thought to tell the truth//It’s gonna leave you in pieces.”

“Fuel on the Fire”

Bear’s Den

This song is interesting in style but for some reason when I heard it the first time, I couldn’t let it go. It’s the “remembering how to love” lyrics that repeat. And then, “Always hoped you’d come back here someday//Things change.” I couldn’t get the song out of my head because it aligned so nicely with the narrative.

“Hurt Nobody”

Andrew Belle

This song reminded me of Adam. There’s a moment in the story when he is finally able to see things clearly, and he realizes the mistakes he’s made despite his best intentions. He never wanted to hurt anyone. This song spoke to me. “I don’t want to hurt nobody//Could I do right by you//I don’t want to waste your time but//I will if you want me to.”

“Closure” (Acoustic)

VANCOUVER SLEEP CLINIC

This song has Adam all over it. “I don’t wanna be over you//If I can make you mine//I don’t want to take closure now//If I can fix tonight//I don’t know if we can work this out, but I’ve got to try//I don’t want to be over you//If I can make it right.”

“Far Out Dust”

TALOS

TBH this song’s lyrics don’t have a lot to do with the way I used the song as I was writing (I used it to write a love scene). My inspiration was about the movement of the notes, the tones and the melody; it spoke to me. When I finally looked at the lyrics, I realized it seemed more like a “break up” song, but it didn’t matter - the tension of the music worked so well. 

“Can’t Help Falling In Love”

KINA GRANNIS

Obvious and cliche, I know. But my goodness, how does this song not fit any love story? Besides the fact, Kina Grannis’s vocal are amazing.


“Crystalline”

JOME

Ever think about how timing is everything in life (and in love)? That’s what this song makes me thinking about. “Love, stay patient//Baby, everything takes time//The ending will be worth the waiting//Soon it will be crystalline.” Adam’s and Alex’s love story is so connected to the idea of everything in the right time.

“I Choose You”

SARA BAREILLES

One of the reasons I love romance books is because of the happy ending. There’s so much uncertainty and difficulty in the world, I like the beautifully wrapped up package of a heartfelt story to escape it. “Tell the world that we finally got it all right.” This song is like that, and I think it works perfectly with Adam’s and Alex’s story.

“As Long as I Have You I’m Home”

IMAGINARY FUTURE

Another one of those feel good songs to go with this story. “I don't care where the hours go//I can live in the great unknown//As long as I have you//As long as I have you, I'm home.” And isn’t that all any of us want?

“Hoe, Hoe, Nā Waʻa” 

KEAUHOU

The translation of “Hoe, Hoe, Nā Waʻa” means to “row, row your boat” (canoe). The song travels around the islands. I love this amazing Hawaiian trio (I teach with two of them and they are such talented men), and since the story is set in Hawaiʻi I needed some local island music add to the story’s vibe. Keauhou is my favorite. 

“Nani Koolau”

KEAUHOU

Another song by Keauhou. This one is about the “beautiful Koolau” mountains that run from Town to the North Shore on the island of Oʻahu (and where most of this story takes place).

BOOK BLURB: THE LETTERS SHE LEFT BEHIND

A year beyond Megan’s death, Adam Kāne emerges from his cocoon of grief to finally read letters she’s left behind reminding him of the truth of the life they’d built: the children, the hardship, the missteps and the love. When he notices strange notations in the pages, Adam knows the notes are deliberate, but he doesn’t know how to decipher them. He turns to the one person who knew Megan as well - if not better than he did - her best friend, Alexandra.

After Megan’s death, Alex steeped in grief and guilt alone. On the day of Megan’s funeral, Adam accused Alex of trying to ruin his marriage. The awful truth is he’d been right. And nothing has changed. Alex knows she is as in love with Adam now as she has always been, so when he walks back into her life to ask for her help, she thinks life must be playing a twisted joke on her. Her sensibilities tell her to turn and run, but Adam is asking for Megan. Alex can set aside her fear and guilt for loving Adam to be there for Megan one more time.

As they dive into the strangeness of Megan’s letters to decipher her notations, Adam and Alex stumble into a dangerous conspiracy that ties together some very powerful threads and reawakens a killer who thought discovery had died with Megan. The closer Adam and Alex get to uncovering the truth in Megan’s letters, the closer they get to losing everything they hold dear.

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Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Coming of Age, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Swimming Sideways, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth, Young Adult, writing process, New Fiction, Am Writing, Writer's Life Cami Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Coming of Age, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Swimming Sideways, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth, Young Adult, writing process, New Fiction, Am Writing, Writer's Life Cami

The Bones of Who We Are: A Difficult Story

TBOWWA Quote Card 12.jpg

My father - my rock - passed away in October 2017. I miss him everyday. I didn’t think I would ever find the words to write again. When I tried, all that made it to the page were visceral and painful images of where I was stuck: my cave. About six months later, I was sitting at a traffic light and heard Abby say “I need you to write my story.” The pilot light was relit, and I found my way through a new draft of SWIMMING SIDEWAYS. 

The summer of 2018, with SWIMMING SIDEWAYS and THE UGLY TRUTH drafted, I went home to Oregon for a month to help my mom and sister go through my father’s things. Most of the month was spent broken-hearted, trudging through necessary spaces. I cleaned the garage breathing in my father’s work space and going through each of his tools. This was something my mother wasn’t going to be able to do. My dad and his workshop were symbiotic; he could fix anything, and his workshop reflected this. So, immersion in his workshop, going through each of his toolboxes and trinkets, the jars of things he saved because they’d come in handy one day, cracked me open. Somehow, in the breaking of my heart and the diligent reorganization of his things, I was able to assemble the broken parts of myself back together. It was during this four weeks in Oregon that I began drafting Gabe’s story, and as I stitched myself back together, Gabe’s began to unravel.

I’ve warned readers that Gabe’s story isn’t an easy story to experience, and that is because THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE deals with heavy topics: bullying, depression, identity, loss, grief. Maybe in a way, the loss of my father is reflected in the pain of Gabe. My pain became his, though Gabe’s story was always this, I just couldn’t write it before. The pivotal scene in the book - the reason Gabe is who he is - was written back in 2009, eight years before I lost my father; nine years before I went through his workshop and faced my own undoing. 

Perhaps, I was never going to be equipped to tell Gabe’s story without understanding the complete loss of someone so essential to my own identity. Perhaps, sitting inside my father’s workshop by myself allowed me to grasp loss, life, and grief in a way I never would have without that struggle. As writers our life experiences impact the depth of our knowledge. Virginia Woolf wrote, “Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.” So, I suppose by realizing how painful it was to look at my father’s empty steel-toed work boots and be slammed with the awareness of how much I missed him, it forced me to jump into the deep end of loss. When the only thing I could do was climb into bed and bury myself in romance novels because those stories were as much as I could handle to not sink and drown, I found a way to tread water. Perhaps, this trial was the only way I was ever going to be able to empathize with Gabe’s experience. 

THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE isn’t an easy story, but then life, love, loss, grief never are. That is the truth of what it means to be human. We hurt, but there is power in the warmth of hope. That - the hope - is what my father would have loved about Gabe’s story.

NEXT WEEK: A Letter from Gabe to readers

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