Contest Awarded Short Story: The Invalid

Back in September I entered a short story I’d written in Ghost Story and Horror contest at www.indieitpress.com . And guess what?!?! It placed! 5th. I’m proud of it. Is it horror? It’s horrifying. LOL.

I’m dropping a link to it, in case you want to read it. It’s disturbing, so be forewarned that it might be triggering.

If you don’t want any spoilers…. better stop reading.

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Okay . . . a bit behind the scenes: I wrote a snippet of this story a long time ago. Which part? About a paragraph when the main character, Tom, collapses. I had an idea for the story, but hadn’t ever finished it, so when the contest rolled around, I wondered if I might use it to motivate me to finally write it.

“The Invalid” is a dive into the mind of a man who’s suffered a stroke and can’t communicate with his surviving children. The horrifying part of the story is that Tom wants to tell his children he’s sorry for all the horrific things he put them through as they grew up, but now he can’t. Their anger at him is palpable, and justifiably so. Of course, things aren’t exactly what they seem, leading the reader to a twist at the end.

I enjoyed pushing myself creatively to write outside my genre. While challenging, it pushed me to consider writing choices that I might not have otherwise when writing a romance, but also made me think about the same tools in a new way: tension, conflict, characterization. It was a fun way to expand my own craft.

I’d love to know what you thought about the story!

The WHY Behind The Messy Truth About Love

The Messy Truth About Love has been out for over a month now and I waited to write this post to avoid any spoilers, but I think its safe to explore this topic further without harming your reading experience. But in case you want to read The Messy Truth About Love without them, then probably stop reading NOW.

Here are the trigger warnings, just in case you need them

Ready to read more behind-the-scenes? Scroll for more…

When I set out to write The Messy Truth About Love, I had no idea that it was going to dive into an abusive relationship. In fact, since I was writing about Seth (a reoccurring character from The Ugly Truth) I thought his mental health recovery in the midst of his own childhood abuse situation would be as dark as I dove. Only Hannah made me look closer at her relationship with her ex-boyfriend, Sebastian. And suddenly, I was researching abusive relationships and the warning signs.

I’d planned to publish the following “Author’s Note” here, but before I did, in a fortuitous convergence of events, I was listening to a recent episode of Crime Junkies Podcast that aligned with my own purpose. It was the story of Yeardley Love.

Yeardley was a fourth-year college lacrosse player when her life was cut short in a domestic violence event. Her on-and-off-again boyfriend, also a fourth year college lacrosse player, in a fit of drunken rage, attacked her, killing her. He was arrested, found guilty of 2nd degree murder, and sentenced to 23 years in prison. That can’t bring back Yeardley to her loved ones, but they sought to honor her memory. In order to combat the pervasive way domestic violence haunts our society, Yeardley’s family started the One Love Foundation to offer education and support, specifically to college students, as they navigate their relationships. I plan on supporting with a portion of the proceeds from The Messy Truth About Love.

Here’s why (from my Author’s Note):

In 2020 the #blackandwhite challenge circulated on social media. Women posted a black and white picture of themselves to highlight empowered women, only I remember learning after the fact that the impetus of the black and white photos got lost as if we were playing a game of telephone. The origin of that particular “challenge” was rooted in Turkey when women woke up to yet another black and white photo in the newspaper of another murdered woman. This time it was of Pinar Gultekin, a 27-year-old Turkish woman who’d been murdered—strangled, burned, then buried in concrete—by her ex-boyfriend in what was called an “honour killing.” Why? Because she told him “No.” Because she didn’t want to date him. Because she had moved on, he hadn’t and decided to choose for her. The unfortunate reality is that Gultekin’s photo in the newspaper was one of many black and white photos of murdered women in Turkey. Fed up and needing a way to fight back, Turkish women created the black and white photo reminder to increase awareness about the horrifically high femicide rates, specifically in Turkey, at the hands of their intimate partners.

They wanted change.

Pilar Gulekin’s story might have appeared in black and white—a photo and words on the page—but her life was lived in color, in a collection of experiences and relationships that made her a real human. Just like the many other stories and statistics we’re able to access in black and white, but rarely offer the color image. 

Consider these black and white statistics from the United Nations and the World Health Organization:

• Of the approximately 3.9 billion women in the world, over 736 million of them have been subjected to physical or sexual violence in their lifetime. It roughly estimates to 1 in 3 women though this statistic doesn’t include sexual harassment.

• Most violence against women is committed by intimate partners or former husbands, and for those women who have been in an intimate relationship, 16% of those women will experience violence perpetrated by their partner against them.

• In 2020, 81,000 women and girls were killed, and over half of those were at the hands of their intimate partner or other family member (and that’s only the ones we know about). 

• Less than 40% of women who experience violence at the hands of family or an intimate partner seek help, and less than 10% of those reach out to law enforcement.

• Globally, violence against women disproportionately affects women in lower-middle- income situations.

I’m a fan of Crime Junkies (the true-crime podcast) and watching true crime documentaries. I’m not exactly sure why that is, though due to their popularity, I know I’m not alone. Though many of these stories shared offer context and work to flesh out the truth for the victim, I wonder if they provide the listener with a voyeuristic ability to stand outside of it. As if we’re passing by a terrible car accident and need to see the gruesome reality but sigh with relief that it didn’t include us. What gets to me about these stories: most of the cases are crimes against women. I wish I was surprised by this, but the unfortunate (and frighteningly pervasive attitude) is that violence against women is the norm, and worse, the undercurrent that somehow it was probably her fault.

No one does black and white voyeurism better than Americans. We’re great about looking at a black and white photo of a woman who’s been murdered in Turkey and distancing ourselves from it. It isn’t in our country, right? 

Except there are black and white statistics that say it is. A study done by Asher and Lyric about women traveling on their own in the world and how they might consider their safety relative to various locations in the world. Asher and Lyric ranked the countries using datapoints that examined things like “walking alone at night,” the country’s “homicide rates against women,” “nonpartner sexual violence,” and “partner sexual violence,” as well as “attitudes about women and violence against women in general.” Out of the 50 countries examined, want to know where the United States lined up? Nineteenth with a C- sandwiched between Tunisia and Ukraine. And get this, the United States ranked 7th highest for intimate partner violence (Only Brazil, Morocco, India, Thailand, Turkey, and Chile ranked higher in that category). Turkey was 5th. 

Take that in for a moment. Turkey—where Pilar Gultekin was killed for telling her former boyfriend “no”—was only two spots higher than the United States.

We want to distance ourselves and claim that kind of violence doesn’t happen in the United States, but those black and white statistics don’t lie, those black and white photos in newspapers, and the words written to offer the latest true-crime story offer us surface level truth. We look closer—and every single one of us should be looking closer—tell us a deeper truth. Each of those faces, every single one of those names, and every statistic is linked to a full-color story.  Like Yeardley Love.

Hannah’s experience in The Messy Truth About Love is meant to showcase the subversive way abuse occurs in an intimate partnership. I’m going to go out on a limb and make the claim that women don’t walk into a relationship thinking it will be or become abusive. Then once immersed in that situation, getting out of it isn’t a black and white solution of just walking away (even if we’d like it to be). How does one leave without financial stability? What if there are children? Does she have supportive friends and family to help her? What if she goes to school with her abuser, like Hannah? And even if a woman leaves, what if their partner doesn’t get the message? What if he doesn’t adhere to the law? Or what if there aren’t any laws to protect her?

Hannah’s experience in this story is mild (I needed a positive and hopeful ending, folks). She’s a singular perspective. The truth is that the women most adversely affected by these black and white statistics are women of color, women immersed in low socio-economic circumstances, trans women. I can’t trivialize women’s experiences to say that their stories all wind up hopeful and positive like Hannah’s. There are too many cold-case files, too many murders, too many statistics, too many young children without mothers, too many stories to say that women’s stories aren’t happy or hopeful. It’s heartbreaking.

I need hope.  

And yet, I don’t have anything very hopeful to offer with respect to this issue. I don’t have that glimmer of light to say: “Look! We can get better.” Only after I wrote this, our nation’s highest court overturned the landmark Roe versus Wade reversing women’s bodily autonomy. So my hope meter feels like it’s running a little low. Why? While body rights may seem a separate issue from intimate partner violence, they aren’t that disparate. Both issues communicate an attitude about women and where her agency lies, both of which say it’s outside of her own autonomy and in the hands of someone else. As Americans we want to distance ourselves and say intimate partner violence isn’t an American problem, but it is. It’s a national problem. It’s a global problem.

If you are a woman in trouble, please reach out. Here are some national resources for you:

https://www.thehotline.org/ or 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

https://www.rainn.org/ or 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

https://www.joinonelove.org/ (a great resources to temperature check your own relationship. There’s an app as well and everything is confidential.

Please call 9-1-1 if you are in immediate danger

4 Things You Should Know about The Messy Truth About Love Before Reading

This book feels different to me somehow. I’m not exactly sure why, but for those of you who’ve followed the books since the beginning, maybe you’ll be able to tell me why this one feels different? And maybe it’s just me being insecure. (LOL).

Here’s what I think you need to know walking into it:

It’s a Second Chance Love Story

I enjoy the idea of getting a do-over. This one isn’t like the later in life do-over in The Letters She Left Behind with Adam and Alex who are in their forties. Instead, this is a retry between two characters—Seth and Hannah—who had crushes on one another in high school, but didn’t really have the opportunity to see where it might take them. That’s where the do-over happens, because now they are both in college, they’ve had some real-world experiences to teach them new lessons and they can try this again (and hopefully get it right).

It’s a Slow Burn

I wouldn’t want you walking into this book thinking: Oh. Since it’s a new adult college book, there’s probably lots of sex. There is some, but it takes a while to get there, my friends, and it isn’t overtly explicit. Think The Stories Stars Tell or In the Echo of this Ghost Town level rather than the typical “new adult” kind of book you might have read. I would rate it as an 18+ but I think it’s appropriate for a 16+ audience.

There are Trigger Warnings

If it’s a book by me, then chances are it’s got a trigger warning or two. This one isn’t any different. Here’s the trigger warning letter if it’s important for you to know.

I’m Proud of this Story

This was a difficult story to write. It wasn’t because of the content so much as it was writing a story about characters I already knew and were growing up. It feels like there’s a lot more pressure attached to getting that right because unlike new characters in which readers don’t have any preconceived ideas, these characters already have people who love them.

I think I did it. Seth still feels like Seth to me, only four years older. Hannah is still Hannah only more developed. Abby and Gabe make an appearance, and they also feel true to who they would be on this timeline.

The thing is: I was afraid to write this book. And I did it anyway. So that’s something to be proud of.

And there you have it. Four things… Four weeks and counting.

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February Ideals: Dreaming

Dear Friends,

I was sitting at the beach the other day, drinking my coffee, watching the ebb and flow of the waves as the tide came in. The sun was warm against my face, and I thought about how though life feels static, it really isn’t. I sat on that beach for nearly an hour, and recognized the tide coming in because waves came in, drew back out, came back in, cresting and washing over the shore until a rock was submerged under the water. It was exposed and dry when I arrived. The tide is subtle and if I hadn’t been paying attention, I might never have noticed it. 

One of my dreams as an author is to be able to make a living creating. Am I there yet? Nope. Not even close. (Thank God for my husband, who’s supportive of this dream,  my mom, who supplements me when she can, and for each of you, willing to buy the books when they drop. You all probably have multiple copies of each). While I might feel discouraged sometimes at how little impact my ripples are making in this giant ocean of writing and publishing books, as I sat on the shore watching the tide, I realized that what I’m doing isn’t static. There is a dynamic ebb and flow to it, moving me forward toward my goal. 

It’s subtle.

So this February I’m going to remember that. The steps I take, the moves I make, the people I talk to, the list of things I have to do are all contributing to that rising tide. My job is just to keep doing what I do with a joyful heart filled with gratitude.

Thank you for being on this journey with me,

Cami

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My Top 10 Songs (w/Lyrics) 2021

I’ve mentioned I love music. There are probably lots of factors, but one is that I grew up around music. My grandfather and his three brothers sang professionally as a barbershop quartet in the 1950’s.

The House Brothers: Bill, David, Tom, and Dan (my grandpa).

One of the last times they sang together. From left to right, Tom, Bill, David and Dan.

My mom and her three sisters also sang together. My mom was in a band with my dad, and they were worship leaders at church. I grew up immersed in music, watching and listening to performances at every family gathering. Then I participated, spending time performing music with my parents and sister. 

My mom and her sisters. From left to right: Terry (my mom), Danice, Susan and Judy.

As a writer, music contributes heavily to my writing process. When I sit down to work on a story, I make a playlist. The playlist is usually a mixture of music with lyrics and instrumental. Last year, Spotify informed me I spent over 85,000 minutes listening to music. That’s 16% of my year. Calculate it out into a day, it’s about 4 hours of my day. And if I’m only awake for an average of 16 hours a day, that calculates to more like 25% of my awake life is listening to music. That’s a lot of time.

I’m a moody listener. My tastes are often in a minor key. Lyrics are reflective, and I adore a vibe. One of my favorite things is to find “new” artists who are just getting started. It’s like unearthing a treasure (maybe a little like indie authors :).

So without further ado, this is the top ten songs I listened to this year starting with the most played. I filtered out the instrumental songs (because there were a ton) and kept it to only the ones with lyrics. Want to hear samples, hit up my Instagram stories. Want to hear them, look up my playlist on spotify “Top Ten Ten Times”. It has my top ten songs with lyrics for the last four years. 

1. Inside Out, Mokita

2. Golf on TV, Lennon Stella, JP Saxe

3. More Than Friends, Mokita

4. I Never Wanted Anything More than I Wanted You, Kina Grannis

5. Maybe, Don’t by Maise Peters, JP Saxe

6. Lost, Blake Rose

7. Obvious, UTAH & CHPTRS

8. Bloodoath, EXES & Petey

9. Always, By the Coast

10. July 4, Elliot Moss

Happy Listening (please buy the artists’ music if you like it) and have an amazing CHRISTMAS!

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My Top 5 Characters I've Written

If I thought selecting the favorite books from the stack I’ve written was difficult, choosing my favorite characters is infinitely worse. Why? I love (or love to hate) them all, but for the sake of this exercise and not because I don’t love these characters (who are like real people in my head), I will go through with this top 5 list. Here’s the criteria I used to help me decide:

• Characters I’ve already written, not ones I’m in the process of writing.

• The challenge of writing the character and the overall outcome on the page.

• The way the character lingers in my mind after finishing the story.

• How the character presented on the page with other characters

This presentation is in no particular order.

Tanner James

Truthfully, Tanner James from The Stories Stars Tell, jumped from the pages the moment I started writing his character. He was funny, daring, and heartfelt, but stuck in his small world. I loved getting to know this character and all the ways that his life influenced his choices. The first scene I wrote with him was the cliffside scene (I posted it to Instagram in a Sunday Snippet, here). The more I wrote Tanner, the more invested I was in The Stories Stars Tell.

Emma Matthews

Tanner’s antithesis in The Stories Stars Tell also tops the list. Here’s the truth, I struggle to write female characters. I’ve written about this before (want to read that: here), so when I stack up writing Abby, which was really the only other female character I’d written for ten years with Emma, I was able to present a more fleshed out young woman in Emma than I ever had before.

Griffin Nichols-Maxwell Wallace

I have decided to present this couple as a single character. Okay, this might be cheating, but hear me out. Griffin was really hard to write, and difficult to like initially. When you read The Stories Stars Tell (he’s Tanner’s best friend and not very likable) and  In the Echo of this Ghost Town, he is so flawed right at the onset. Enter Maxwell Wallace (specifically the gas station-convenience store scene which is the first moment I met Maxwell) and suddenly Griffin popped off the page. As character’s go, Maxwell is the shiny light and Griffin is a grump. She really makes him, but she also makes the story. I could have just picked her, but I feel like it’s their relationship on the page that makes them both so dynamic. So I’m sticking to this choice.

Gabe Daniels

True story: Gabe started out as a fallen angel, and in the original story Upside Down (it’s here on Wattpad if you want to read it but please forgive me. It’s not great. I was just getting started finding my own voice). He was this idealistic, mysterious outsider who was over-the-top heroic. Obviously, I couldn’t get this Twilight wannabe story to work, but I couldn’t figure out why. Not yet, anyway. While revising, I wrote this horrific scene which I can’t divulge here (it’s a spoiler) and I had this minuscule voice in the back of my heart saying, “that’s me.” I knew it was Gabe talking to me, but I was terrified to write that story. It didn’t go with the original paranormal idea, and it was dark. Really dark. In hindsight, my journey hadn’t taken me anywhere where I could have written that story and given it justice yet. I needed time. So, fast forward seven years after I rewrote Swimming Sideways and The Ugly Truth as contemporaries and that scene resurfaced. Gabe said, “See. I told you it was me.” 

Seth Peters

I feel like Seth started my whole journey, so he has a very special place in my heart. While I’ve been writing since I was a child, and I've written at least four other books (unpublished) before publishing Swimming Sideways, Seth’s character is the one that wouldn’t stop talking to me. Seriously, he’s a freaking nag. To be fair, if you’ve read Fallen (that Wattpad Monstrosity again), I left him trapped in the underworld, so his nagging was about getting him out (LOL), but then I changed everything up on him, and discovered he was trapped in the underworld in this world, not a fantasy one. Which led to The Ugly Truth.

Honorable Mention:Secondary Characters

I couldn’t leave it there, because I think secondary characters are amazing, and I have some really loud ones talking my ear off at the moment. I figure I’d share some that I was really proud of and loved writing:

• Cal Wallace (In the Echo of this Ghost Town & When the Echo Answers)

• The entire cast of secondary characters from The Stories Stars Tell. I mean really? Who doesn’t want to read more about Ginny, Liam, Josh, and Danny? What about Emma’s sister, Shelby?

• Dale and Martha from The Bones of Who We Are. I especially loved writing Dale.

• There’s a bunch of new characters showing up in some new stories I’m working on, but those are top secret for now. Join my newsletter if you’re interested in hearing about those books before anyone else.

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My Top 5 of My Own Books

A question I get a lot: Which of your books is your favorite? I usually say “That’s like trying to choose your favorite child.” It’s an impossible question, but it’s also a fair one. Each book requires something different, a little more joy in some ways, a little more work in others. Sweat and tears in different ways that inform the process. So, because of that, there are special nooks and crannies in my heart where stories get placed.

So here are my top 5 books ranked from 5 to 1 and why I put them in this order.

#5  Swimming Sideways.

What it's about: Abby Kaiaulu is hiding a secret that a quick internet search has the power to uncover. Since she’s starting over in a new town, she thinks hiding it is the best option. Except secrets never stay hidden, and when she finds herself in between the It Boy at school, Seth Peters, and the school Freak, Gabe Daniels, Abby discovers she’s at the center of a different secret that will unravel the ordinary world of them all.

This is number 5 on my list because something has to be number 5, right? What I love about it: Abby is Hawaiian. That factor alone makes this story appear in the top 5. I love all of the cultural inclusion. I also love how Abby’s story factors into the other two in this series serving as a catalyst. When I think about the 3 Act structure, Abby’s story is an excellent Act 1. 

Why is it number 5? Because I wish I’d been a stronger writer. Abby is great, but I’ve gotten better at writing, character development and narrative structure. I think first books are probably like that for a lot of writers—you see all the ways you can make things better.

#4 The Ugly Truth.

What it’s about: Seth Peters, It Boy at Cantos High School, has been in an accident, or was it? As he fights for his life, he relives the past to make sense of his present, and learns that facing the ugly truth of who we are might be the only way to live an honest future.

This is number 4 on my list because the Cantos Chronicles was always about Seth and Gabe and their friendship. I love how this book sets that up. When I wrote this series, it was always for Seth, which is a weird thing to say. Gabe was always heroic, but Seth wasn’t but I didn’t want him to be a “villain” for the sake of it. I kept thinking about how no one wakes up and thinks: how can I be awful today. There’s always a story. So after writing Swimming Sideways, I wanted to think about why Seth was the way he was. It broke my heart.

#3 The Bones of Who We Are

What it’s about: Gabe Daniels has had a tough life. It got better for a while when he was adopted and had a great best friend, Seth Peters, who understood him. But then it broke apart and he can’t seem to put it back together even with therapy and amazing parents. He’s pretty sure because of the trainwreck his bio-parents started, he was always going to crash. So he walks into the woods with a plan to end it. It’s just that life has other plans…

This was the hardest story I’ve ever written for so many reasons. First of all, the story was so hard. It starts off in a dark place. Second, it moves backward through a timeline which makes it complicated. As a reader we start in the valley with Gabe and as he relives his journey, we vacillate through the highs and lows with him. But I am so freaking proud of this story. 

#2 The Stories Stars Tell

What it’s about: Emma Matthews and Tanner James are each on a journey to redefine who they are based on the boxes they built for themselves in high school. Together, they learn what it means to break down the walls they built to fall in love, to discover who they are, and to decide who they want to be. 

If Gabe’s story was one of the most difficult I’ve ever written, this one was the most fun. Emma discovering her own sexual empowerment despite the purity culture message and Tanner discovering his own emotional empowerment despite the toxically masculine culture he’s been living was magical to write. These characters jumped off the page and that was such a fun place to be as a writer.

#1 In the Echo of this Ghost Town

What it’s about: Griffin Nichols has lost everything since graduation, including his friends, but rather than look at himself, he blames everyone else. Until he meets Maxwell Wallace and she holds up a mirror. When Griffin finally begins to look at himself, the truth of who he was and what his choices have been make him realize he needs to decide who he wants to be.

Why it’s number one on my list: It’s the newest release, yes, but I think in terms of my writing, this one demonstrates the most growth. I am so proud of how I was able to take this flat character from The Stories Stars Tell, and create this dynamic character with depth and complexity. Even better, I was able to find all the ways we could like him, when he wasn’t very likeable. I am so proud of this book. When the Echo Answers didn’t make the list because it’s a companion to this story, but I am really proud of Max’s version of events as well.

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Road to Echoes: 8 Tips for Using NaNoWriMo to Write Your Novel

National Novel Writing Month, which happens in November every year, is a massive community of creatives using the time like one giant writing sprint. Millions of people start it, thousands of people finish. What sets those who complete it with those who don’t. No idea. This isn’t that kind of post. Instead, I wanted to examine how using NaNoWriMo 2020 helped me to kickstart In the Echo of this Ghost Town which publishes next month (October 12, 2021).

Look, full transparency, I’ve “won” NaNoWriMo four times (and by “won” I just mean met the 50,000 words written in November goal). So far, though, I haven’t published any of those works. In the Echo of this Ghost Town. with be the first. The other 3 projects need so much more work that I have them in the publishing plan queue for the next few years. This is the first time I met the word count goal and used the momentum to finish the book. Interested in learning more about NaNoWriMo books that have been published? Here’s a blog about it and here’s a reel I made.

So how did I do it?

1. Choose a project

   First, I had a project in mind before November even rolled around. I started playing around with Griffin’s story in July 2020. I had a general sense of his character, I had a sense of the conflict and the inciting incident (i.e., the fight with Tanner from The Stories Stars Tell), so when I looked ahead at my schedule, I saw the opportunity to commit to writing forward on the draft in November.

2. Set an overall goal

   The next thing I did was set an overall goal. NaNoWriMo already has a built in goal of 50,000 words for the month. It’s a great milestone to shoot for it you find that motivating. Word counts are cool and I love recording them and seeing the graph climb each day, but it wasn’t the 50K word count I was shooting for, it was a completed first draft of In the Echo of this Ghost Town. So while NaNoWriMo offers a common finish line for everyone, don’t hesitate to set your own goal based on your needs and the best practices within your own process.

3. Prepared

   Next, I started November prepared. How prepared? I had done some heavy lifting on my character work (completed a template I made and use for getting to know characters and explore their motivations as well as character interviews of each of the characters I knew). I had several scenes written, a rough understanding of what I thought the story structure would be, and the ability to identify mini goals to help me move forward. Finally, I did some research. For Griffin’s story this meant looking closer at abandonment and male culture. Was I finished with the research by the time I got started in November? No, but I’d gotten started.

4. Set a daily goal

   Next, to hold myself accountable to the daily grind of writing, I set daily goals. NaNoWriMo does this for us. 1,667 words each day over 30 days to make the 50K mark. So, here’s my truth, I don’t find word counts motivating. Sure, I love watching that graph climb when I enter my word count, but truthfully, when I’m writing to a number, I feel sort of paralyzed and boxed in. What motivates me even more, is making my own visual accountability chart to record and color in my progress filled in with my own personal goals.

   As part of my preparation, I set the first week with goals. These goals are related to story and scene work rather than word counts. So for example, the first day, I might identify “Griffin & Mom” as the goal. I know that means I need to work on developing a scene that explores the dynamic between these characters. So I sit down that day and write to complete that scene. As I write forward, I adjust and modify the daily goals as necessary to keep the forward momentum. And because characters always surprise me, I need to leave room for adaptation.

5. Sat my butt in the seat and wrote

   This takes commitment and self-discipline. Again. I love to color in my chart., so there’s that for the discipline. But I also know it can be too easy to be like, “Oh I’ll just I write more tomorrow.” I did that for a lot of years (which I think comes down to not having done the preparation). I DO schedule in a few days of non writing (I.e., my birthday [which falls in November], Thanksgiving and the day before are bonus writing days). Just sit down and write.

   Having a finished project as my goal (I.e., Griffin’s story) made it easier. I had an endgame in mind. I had a sense of how to get there. Sitting down everyday to write toward that end didn’t feel so painful.

6. I am kind to myself

   Sometimes there are horrible writing days. There was a day I only wrote 800 words. It felt like every word I typed were droplets of blood oozing through my fingertips. On those days, it is important to be kind to yourself. There are things I try to jumpstart the creativity. Sometimes I change location; sometimes I change medium (I.e., computer to a handwritten journal) , but there are days NOTHING works. Be kind, set a goal for the next day, and give yourself permission to walk away WITHOUT the negativity.

7. Wrote forward rather than looking backward

   It is always tempting to reread what I’ve already written. I try to avoid this unless I need to to get started or reacquaint myself with a specific plot point. But usually I avoid this during NaNoWriMo. Instead, I focus on the daily goal and if I’m not sure I write that into the draft and then keep moving forward. That is what revision is for.

   There is one caveat to this: I will reread what I have written each day in order to allow myself the opportunity to flesh out and develop what I started. I tend to underwrite for NaNoWriMo. So I might write an 800 word scene. When I go back through it and add details and find opportunities to add flesh to the page, it becomes clearer (and adds to the word count, obviously).

8. Celebrated the milestones

   Finally, it’s easy to be negative with ourselves. It’s easy to think, “I wasn’t good enough today,” or “I’m not good enough to do this.” I know these thoughts will happen. They happen to all of us, but when you achieve a goal—whether its one you set for a day, or one you set for the week, or one you’ve asked your CP to hold you accountable to meet—celebrate it! A glass of wine, a night out with your friends, whatever it is, celebrate your writing wins!

An example of handwriting to change my perspective and jumpstart the flow when I’m stuck.

Ultimately, NaNoWriMo is a personal endeavor. It isn’t a competition with anyone else but rather a chance to face yourself, which is why I say use your strengths and what you find motivating to get to that finish line! If you’re planning on participating, good luck, and come find me so we can be Nano friends (CL Walters). I’ll be working on the second book of my fantasy and will need all the moral support I can get.

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Road to Echoes: 4 Lessons I Learned Writing Maxwell Wallace

I learned a lot about myself writing Maxwell Wallace.  I’ve mentioned before that my ability to write female characters has been difficult and why that is (here), but Max is the first female character I’ve written fully formed without having to do much of anything. That was new for me, and I think a testament to the power of who she is as a character. So real. So alive. 

When the Echo Answers is a companion novel to In the Echo of this Ghost Town

In honor of her, here are 4 things I learned from Max while writing this book:

Speak your mind

I grew up with the “be a good girl” lessons rooted in white, patriarchal, Christian home.  I’m not disparaging my experience. I had a wonderful childhood with amazing parents and family, but this “good girl” expectation didn’t serve me when I walked out into the world without the safety net of my loving family. My naivety opened doors to major mishaps. If I’d been taught that my voice mattered equally, I wonder how things might have been different.

Cal, Maxwell’s dad, has taught her that her voice matters. That her voice is equal to everyone else and she doesn’t have to be “the good girl” but instead just a smart one. Maybe, on some level, this is the kind of girl I’d wished I’d been. Maybe Max can empower a young woman to find her voice, know her worth, and speak up (even when the expectations are to be a “good girl”). What I would tell that girl: You are still a good girl even when you speak up. SPEAK UP!

Don’t Apologize

Asking forgiveness is a good thing. That’s not what I mean when I say “don’t apologize.” Instead, this is referencing those apologies for existing, for having an opinion, for being different, or using your voice to care for yourself.  It goes back to speaking up, but not feeling like your voice matters so you need to somehow disparage it by offering the “I’m sorry…”

Max doesn’t apologize unless she should. Goodness.  Cal has taught her that she matters. And as she says in the book, “My father has shown me that everyday.”  This!

Be Rude

One of my favorite podcasters—Crime Junkies—say this all the time. “It’s okay to be rude. Be rude. Stay alive.” Max is “rude” but maybe it isn’t so much as rude as assertive, confident, and self-assured.  She knows her worth (even if she struggles sometimes, because don’t we all), but the lessons from her father lead her to the path of trusting herself.  She says, “One of dad’s lessons: trust your instincts.”

I’ve gotten better at this, especially when it comes to my art. There’s this really great book I HIGHLY RECOMMEND to all creatives and especially women, and for women in general. Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD. It’s a dense read, but ultimately, the idea is that as women we have shut down our intuition (due to all sorts of cultural and societal factors), but we need to reconnect to it. It is in our innate knowledge that we find the truth of our identity, our power, ourselves. It’s beautiful.

Don’t Hesitate. Just sit down

In the scene at the beginning when she sits down with Griffin outside the convenience store, Max says, “I leave the confines of the store and approach moody boy like he’s a wild animal in the zoo. Okay, too tentative. I actually just sit down. I don’t do too much with hesitancy and never have. Hesitancy hasn’t gotten me much, and besides, there isn’t time for it. Lessons from my father haven’t been about hanging back or blending into the background.” 

 I love this. 

This lesson has so many applications. Whether it’s putting myself out there as an author with local bookstores, submitting that query to an agent, offering insight on my latest blog, or teaching a webinar, I can’t be hesitant. Sure, there’s a time to ponder and reflect to find the best plan of action, but then it’s time to commit. To step forward. To put myself on the line. 

Max does this.  I love it. I love her.

I hope you do too.

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Road to Echoes: Tropes

Tropes—or the plot-situational cliches found in stories—are unavoidable and don’t equate to “bad writing.” It’s more accurate to recognize that tropes exist because every story has already been written. Tropes are a product of the human condition, or our own journey to understand it, so as readers we cling to these familiar and comfortable constructs. The chosen one trope allows us to explore our own journey, grappling with our own self worth and importance to our own narrative; the authoritarian government who steals freedom trope offers readers a place to wrestle with the constraints in their own lives; the love-triangle trope creates the opportunity to understand our own needs for our own various relationships. The trick for writers is to recognize the trope, discover a way to retell it to make it new again, all while remaining truthful. 

In the Echo of this Ghost Town and When the Echo Answers (both available for preorder) are full of familiar tropes. I thought I’d take this blog to explore four of the tropes you’ll find in these two stories, and explore how I tried to twist the device to make it fresh.

1. The Misfit

As a trope, the misfit (the “I’m not like other girls” or the “I’m so misunderstood”) has been overdone. Is it a surprise that it comes up over and over with YA fiction? Seriously. Didn’t we all feel like we didn’t quite belong as teenagers and were working overtime to try and find our tribe. It isn’t a shock to me to see this one come up over and over. All people, especially teens, are working through their sense of identity in relationship to others. But this trope has worn reader patience thin (I have some theories about this) but guess what, it's in both In the Echo of this Ghost Town and When the Echo Answers.

The good news is that you won’t see the phrases “I’m not like other guys/girls”, or “I’m so misunderstood” in either novel. Rather, the trope is in the circumstances and the emotional baggage of it that both Griffin and Maxwell carry. Griffin’s friends have abandoned him—at least that’s how he sees it—so he’s alone. Not only that, his friends have broken the bro code which makes Griffin see his perspective as the “right one.” On the other hand, Maxwell, by necessity, hasn’t ever had the opportunity to find her tribe. Instead, she’s moved so much with her single dad, that her misfit status has been an act of geography and situation instead of carting around the perceived social stigma. Her understanding of herself has been developed in her relationship with her father and a myriad of temporary relationships she’s had a long way.

2. Friends to Lovers

Friends to lovers is rather obvious. As a trope it hits the mark of realizing that through friendship, stronger and deeper feelings have the potential to develop. A great classic example of this trope is Emma by Jane Austen. I love to write the friends-to-lovers trope, and I suppose it is because it adheres to the nature of relationships in my brain. So in both Ghost Town and the Echo Answers, this trope takes center stage. It is situational to Griffin and Max’s experience. They begin as strangers (more on that later), become proximity acquaintances, develop a tentative camaraderie, until that deepens into friendship and then crosses into love. The journey to that happening in opposition (or reinforcement) to both character’s wants is what is at stake.

3. The Dysfunctional Family & the Absent Parent

A common (and legitimate) complaint about YA books is the “missing family”, the “orphan”, and the “dysfunctional family” tropes that are common in the category. My theory about the pervasiveness of this trope is because there is a need for the protagonist to develop a sense of self. An easy way to put them into a vacuum is to make them an orphan, remove the family, or create a family that is nonexistent in their lives. This choice, however, isn’t consistent with real life. Adults exist in teens’ lives, and they are formative in the development of a teen’s identity. This has created a need in the book category to characterize families (of all kinds). Thankfully, I’ve seen a lot more of this in recent years.

In both Griffin’s and Max’s stories, families are important. While In the Echo of this Ghost Town does explore the idea of a “dysfunctional” family, rather than keeping them removed from Griffin’s life, the story explores how one might rebuild relationships rather than keeping them distant. In Max’s case in When the Echo Answers, her dad, Cal, is integral to her life. He hasn’t been absent and instead has been a wonderful mentor, but Max will have to face the emotional consequences of her mother leaving them when she was a child. My hope, then, wasn’t to keep the family removed, but rather explore the ways these relationships impacted the characters, and then how the characters face these relationships as they form their identities.

4. A Meet-Cute

The Meet-Cute is a common romance trope in which the couple will meet for the first time by being thrown into a “cute” or interesting situation. An example is in the Adam Sandler movie 50 First Dates with Drew Barrymore. The entire movie is based on the idea of a meet-cute over a stack of pancakes. This trope is often a favorite. It’s the idea of being forced into a situation that raises the stakes often with obstacles and allows the protagonist(s) of the story to showcase their personalities.

I wouldn’t call the face-to-face meeting of Griffin and Max so much a meet-cute as I would a meet-weird. Griffin is sulking and Max calls him out on it by calling him a serial killer. They never exchange their names thinking they will never see one another again, but of course another meet-cute occurs, though meet-cute might be too sweet. Maybe a meet-surprise!

So there they are, four tropes you’ll find in my upcoming releases In the Echo of this Ghost Town and the companion novel When the Echo Answers. Are there more? Yes. (One of my favorites: the “there’s only one bed” situation. Hahahaha).  

Next Week: When the Echo Answers