Cami 7/14/21 Cami 7/14/21

The Road to Echoes: Writing Difficult Characters

I had a conversation with my friend Misty early in the drafting stage for In the Echo of this Ghost Town during one of our writing sessions. Note: she’s been a huge advocate for The Stories Stars Tell from the beginning and even featured me in a lovely conversation for her podcast Rainy Day Collective where we discussed purity culture (here’s a link if you’d like to listen to it).

During that writing session she asked what I was working on, and when I revealed I was writing a book about Griffin, she said “What the hell for?!?!” I laughed at the time because I understood her incredulity. Seriously. Griffin was horrible in The Stories Stars Tell. Toxic as toxic can be. Now, I feel warmth in my bones because she’s read In the Echo of this Ghost Town and asked me “I don’t know how you can get me to go from hating a character to loving him. How do you do that?”

I’m not sure. I remember telling her during that same writing session that I was really struggling to develop Griffin because he was so freaking unlikeable. Look, I know this isn’t selling you on his story, but please stick with me. I think you’ll fall in love with Griffin as much as I have. And ultimately, this is a post about how sometimes we have to look closer at those difficult characters.

While I don’t have a magic bullet, here are five things I did to excavate Griffin as a difficult character.

First, I had to let go of my bias. I hated him. In The Stories Stars Tell he was such a jerk and so disrespectful to… well, everyone. There’s a scene in that book that solidified my dislike of Griffin. Tanner wrote a poem about Emma in his notebook, and Griffin makes fun of him for it. Not only did it break my heart for Tanner, but it sealed my dislike and informed every other scene moving forward with Griffin.
I had to use what already existed in The Stories Stars Tell to begin to understand Griffin’s perspective. While these clues were superficial at best, they offered some perspective about Griffin’s world view. For example, Tanner mentions Griffin’s dad being in prison. He also indicates that his older brother has left. There’s a scene when Tanner arrives at Griffin’s house at noon, and Griffin is just getting out of bed. Then there are all of the moments Griffin opens his mouth and tears things apart.
I started with a pivotal moment for both Tanner and Griffin—the fight. It was already drafted from Tanner's perspective, so I changed it to Griffin’s to see what would happen. My understanding of him began to shift. It made me wonder about hitting rock bottom and what would happen to someone who’s lost everything?
Next I had to dig a little deeper. I started with asking questions about his family. Who were his mom and dad and brother? What was their family dynamic, and if the father was in prison, why was he there? How did that impact the family? Griffin? And what about his brother? What would it feel like to think he felt like he’d been abandoned by both his dad and his brother? How might that inform his behavior? His motives? His wants? And if his mom was never around because she was trying to hold the family together financially, how might that impact his teenage perspective? What did Tanner mean to Griffin, and how might the fight have impacted him? This exploration made me begin to see Griffin in a new light, one that made me empathize with—though not excuse—his choices.
Next, because I saw a theme emerging in the character development, I began doing research about male culture, toxic masculinity, and abandonment. I’ll write more about my research in a future post, but for now, I knew I needed to ground myself in being respectful about these topics.

Developing characters is already challenging, but I find it always comes down to the question: why? The more you’re willing to ask that question of your characters, the deeper they will take you into their motives, the roots of their own why. For the author, this only helps writing their stories. Difficult characters are no different, as long as we’re willing to ask those questions. If you’re familiar with The Cantos Chronicles, you know that I’m not a stranger to writing the difficult, morally gray character. Seth from The Ugly Truth was a villain in Swimming Sideways and The Bones of Who We Are. So, I guess I find difficult characters interesting and challenging.

Next time: Writing Secondary Characters

Cami 7/7/21 Cami 7/7/21

The Road of Echoes: What Inspired Griffin's Story?

I can imagine your incredulity when learning that the hero of my new book was Griffin Nichols, especially if you’ve read The Stories Stars Tell. He is, after all, a villain. Except there was this moment, a single slice of something that gave me pause.

Here. Let me show you. This is a scene from The Stories Stars Tell from Tanner’s point of view. Keep an eye on Griffin (fair warning - lots of strong language):

An hour later, Griff and I are still killing shit with video game remotes from his couch. This feels normal with the stupid, meaningless banter and helps me forget what happened the night before graduation with him, with my mom, with my dad for a little while. The moment I realize it, however, I recognize the truth. Griff makes me forget, helps me run away. This feeling is temporary, because the moment I get back into my truck and drive home, it will all come rushing back.

“Dude! What the fuck. I said to go right!” His phone chimes. He looks at it, sets it down, and resumes playing. “Danny texted there’s a party at the Quarry Friday night. Bonfire. Wanna go?”

I do. I don’t. I think about Emma and wonder if she’d want to go. “Maybe.”

“Fuck, Tanner. You didn’t even show up at Marcus’s. What the fuck is up with you? You’re acting like a bitch.”

“Stop, Griff.” I press the controller and take out a sniper.

Griff’s character moves in front of mine on the screen and uses a wall to shield him from enemy fire. My character is behind his. The character steps out and gets shot.

Then he says, “I’m not the one who’s trailing after smarty-pants like she’s a bitch in heat. I’d never drop my boys for a chick.”

I slam the control onto the table and stand. “Shut the fuck up.” My fists are clenched.

Griff glances at my hands and leans back on the couch. “Why are you being so effin’ sensitive?”

I turn and walk to the door, afraid if I don’t put more distance between him and me, I might throw punches. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I turn around and look at him. “I thought we were friends. You were the closest thing I had to a brother.”

“That hasn’t changed.” He crosses his arms over his chest. The action strikes me as insecure, but I don’t get caught on it, too focused on what is on my mind.

“Yeah. It has.” It’s my turn to cross my arms over my chest. “You’ve been acting like a dick for months.”

“Well if I’d known you’d get your panties in a wad, I would have talked to you more like a lady.” He laughs.

I turn away and slam out of the house.

Did you see that?!?! “...he crosses his arms over his chest…” A moment!!! A flash image of Griffin with a stronger, close-up lens. It was just an obscure line, but I wasn’t the only one who picked up on it. Lavinia (instagram friend @instaraygram), an amazing beta reader and friend, noted after reading The Stories Stars Tell, that she was curious about Griffin. “I feel like there’s a story there,” she’d said. I couldn’t shake her observation. The more I read that line (because I had to read it so many times as I edited), the more curious I became. It was as if Griffin burrowed into my brain.

The truth, however, I didn’t want him there. I was resistant to the idea of writing Griffin’s story because I didn’t like him. How was I ever going to write a story about a character I didn't like? If I didn’t like him, neither would readers. Except there was that moment, that tiny portrait of his insecurity. Then the questions began: Why is Griffin insecure? What is he hiding behind all that douchiness?

And suddenly, I was thinking about answering those questions…

So, thanks to Lavinia, In the Echo of this Ghost Town and When the Echo Answers were born.

Next week: Writing Griffin Nichols

Cami 6/30/21 Cami 6/30/21

The Road of Echoes: New Blog Series

Fifteen weeks and a couple of days are all that remains between today and the publication of In the Echo of this Ghost Town and When the Echo Answers. Considering that each time I venture into a new story I experience the doubt and subsequent terror that I will never be able to write a book ever again, I am ecstatic that we’re moving toward the finish line.

I am so proud of these books. I am so proud of Griffin.

Those of you who have read The Stories Stars Tell will understand why I’m so proud, because you will recognize Griffin as a secondary character from that book. He wasn’t a likeable character in Emma’s and Tanner’s stories. As Tanner’s best friend, Griffin did everything in his power to undermine Tanner’s growth, block the relationship, and guilt Tanner into remaining stuck within the Bro Code.

So how does a character go from being vile to the hero of his own story?

It’s a great question, and one I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to pull off. I certainly had a ton of doubts when I first started writing it. I’m so excited to say that I did it. Griffin made it to “book boyfriend” status. I know it in my bones that’s a true statement. How did I do it?

That will be the subject of the next 9-week blog series. If you’ve ever wanted to go behind the scenes of a book, that’s where I’ll be taking you. From why I wrote the book, to research, to narrative choices, to character design, I’m going to invite you behind the scenes to look at how I created these two books.

Be sure to join me here on the blog each Wednesday for a new installment about the creative journey from villain of The Stories Stars Tell to the hero of In the Echo of this Ghost Town and When the Echo Answers. If you want more information, be sure to join my newsletter (which publishes the first of every month. That’s tomorrow!) There will be information about ARCs and the Pre-Order incentive.

Next week: What inspired me to take a closer look at Griffin as a possible hero for his own story.

Cami 5/26/21 Cami 5/26/21

Favorite Reads of 2021 So Far

We’re (almost) halfway through 2021. Wait. What.

This means I’m also halfway to my reading goal of reading 100 books this year, stacking in at 53 reads so far. Nice. I figured that meant it would be a good time for a Favorites so far. Here they are:

My favorite Books I’ve read in 2021 So Far …

Anxious People by Fredrick Backman is awesome. The story follows the lives of several different characters in a crime that goes terribly wrong. I struggled initially and even thought I would abandon the book because of the multiple point of view, but once I was hooked, I was hooked. It’s both poignant tear jerker and laugh out loud funny. One of my best reads ever.
Fable & Namesake by Adrienne Young is a YA duology that follows Fable in this pirate inspired fantasy. Hiding her power as a gem mage, Fable needs to find her way to her father who didn’t want her. She doesn’t expect to find a family in the process. I loved the originality of this world.
Paradise, WV by Rob Rufus releases this summer (July), and I was fortunate to get to read an early copy. It’s a wonderful story of several characters caught amidst a crime spree happening in their small town that is reminiscent of a serial killer behind bars who committed crimes years before. Mystery, coming-of-age, and family saga, Paradise, WV was a wonderful ride that I couldn’t put down.
Black Sun by Rebecca Roanhorse is an epic adult fantasy influenced Native Americas cultures. It took me a while to get into the story because of the multiple points of view, but once I was invested it was a quick and adventurous ride to the end. The heroes and the villains aren’t always clear which makes for a very intriguing read.
Frankly in Love by David Yoon is a wonderful and well written YA novel that follows Frank Li on his journey through his last year of high school, his first experience of falling in love, and his struggle to reconcile his Korean heritage with his American roots. Loved this read.
Charming As a Verb by Ben Philippe is another wonderful YA novel exploring themes of diaspora, socio-economic disparity and race. Henri Haltiwanger is working hard to achieve his dreams, but when he takes matters into his own hands, he has to decide how far he’s willing to go to make his dreams happen and face the consequences when he does. Well written with awesome characters. Really enjoyed this story.
Ever After Always by Chloe Leise is an independently published RomCom. The third book in the Bergman Brothers series, this is about a Bergman sister, Freya, who’s marriage is falling apart. Can she and her husband, Aiden put it back together before it’s too late? I loved this story, and the healthy way it presents marriage. I have enjoyed each book in this series and am looking forward to the fourth installment which publishes later this year (September).

I’m going on vacation! See you back here in July.

Cami 5/19/21 Cami 5/19/21

Cover Love

A book cover matters. Maybe that’s not a popular opinion. Sure, the blurb is also important, but the first thing I notice is the cover. I know we don’t want to think of ourselves as superficial, but let’s get honest about this; sight is the first sense we use to catalogue all kinds of information. It’s natural. It’s normal. So let’s forgive ourselves for saying that how something looks matters. It does. Especially a book cover.

So this is an embarrassing post, but I also think it’s important to showcase that it’s okay to make mistakes and learn from them too. This kind of transparency about my author’s journey serves to exemplify that I got it wrong, and though I’m initially embarrassed, I’m also kind of proud too. I was brave enough to take the risk, make mistakes, and learn from them.

In a new author resource book I wrote called The Indie Author Book Planner: Navigating Indie Publishing to Establish Your Brand as an Author (officially releasing June 1), I talk a bit more about why I made the choice to rebrand the Cantos Chronicles. On Instagram, I’ve been showcasing the evolution of The Cantos Chronicles covers from my first jump into publishing to where they are today. It’s been fun remembering Swimming Sideways and The Ugly Truth, and today reveals the evolution of The Bones of Who We Are. I threw in the change for The Letters She Left Behind too, for kicks.

I’m so excited and proud of the new book The Stories Stars Tell. And I love how the upcoming releases In the Echo of this Ghost Town and When the Echo Answers connect aesthetically. Super cool how Sara Oliver made that happen. She’s a wonderful cover designer.

Here a few of my favorites covers I thought about off the top of my head. This isn’t an exhaustive list but I’ll start keeping track so I can do a fun cover post toward the end of the year. I also need to be honest about Wilder Girls; I DNFd the book (I made it through 100 pages and just couldn’t keep reading). BUT THAT COVER! Also, I couldn’t choose which Aurora Cycle Book Cover I liked best; all of them are gorgeous!

Cami 5/12/21 Cami 5/12/21

Writing Limbo

I’m in writing limbo. It’s the in-between space when I finish one project and need time to refill the well. It’s uncomfortable here. I have several projects waiting in the wings, but I’m not ready for them; my well is empty.

What do I need to refill the writing well besides time?

Rest
Reading

In the meantime, I will be a part of my first in-person author event this Saturday (May 15 from 11am to 1pm) at Village Books & Music at Ward Center on Oʻahu where Iʻll be reading from Swimming Sideways, answering questions, and signing books. Iʻm super exciting but also nervous.

Cami 5/5/21 Cami 5/5/21

Writing In Between

I’m in The Fold of Ravka (and, yes, this is a plug for both the books and the Netflix series which is awesome). Why am I in the Fold? I’m in between writing books and am ducking Volcra trying to eat me as I try and find my way through the dark.

I have all of these ideas: several new contemporaries, an adult romance, a dystopian idea (can’t work on the fantasy right now since it’s resting for the next eight weeks). I don’t know where to go. The thing is, I do this every time. I finish a book, then spin in the dark unsure what’s next, worried I’ve lost my way, and struggle with the doubt that I’ll ever be able to do it again.

But somehow, I find the thread of light. I find my way through it and out the other side to write a new story. Not sure what’s next, but in the meantime, here’s a snippet of something I wrote while hanging out in the dark.

If you’ve read The Cantos Chronicles which starts with Swimming Sideways, you might recognize some of these names.

Something New…

I don’t need snow today, and it isn’t even the good kind. Instead it’s wet and slushy, sinking razor cold teeth into everything. Fitting really. I was prepared for the rain. Freaking Willamette Valley weather. I’m still getting into the swing of things after winter break. The swing of a new term, new classes. The swing of being single again, not that it’s much different than when Sebastian and I were together. Six weeks removed, and I’m seeing that more clearly, now. We’d been going through the motions as a couple, far longer than in the swing of two people truly in love, and I should have seen it but hadn’t until it was removed.

As I was walking out the door of my apartment to leave for work, he’d called. That was not in the swing of things. My axis, which had finally regulated, tilted more than I cared to admit.

“I’m just checking in on you,” he’d said.

I could picture him sitting at the desk in his bedroom at his own apartment running a finger along the edge like he often did when he was on the phone. His bedroom barely controlled chaos behind him. His curly dark hair in need of a trim. I didn’t like that I could picture him with clarity still.

“That isn’t your job,” I’d answered as I checked the locked door of my apartment, then started down the sidewalk to my car, annoyed at the intrusion but also conflicted by it. I thought I’d been in love with him. I thought he was probably the one, then I got the We should talk followed up with him dating a new girl a week after that talk. Nine months together, most of them pleasant, the comfort of sliding back into an easy pattern of behavior that feels safe and secure is tempting. “Why are you calling?”

“I just–” he’d paused as though weighing and measuring the impact of his words. This was a usual Sebastian speech pattern, as though he hooded his words, himself, in the guise of how he said something to make me feel complacent but equally unsure. “I know the anniversary is coming up, and I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

I had a fleeting thought that maybe he’d been planning on saying something different, but then settled on what I’d heard. I dismissed the doubt. My normal pattern of behavior where he was concerned. What he’d asked was more endearing than holding onto any negative thoughts about his intentions. “I’m going home. I’ll be okay. Thanks.”

I’d climbed into my car, phone pressed to my ear with my shoulder holding it in place. Once inside the car, I’d started it, the phone switching to bluetooth, and I sat there, waiting for the car to warm up but also for him to say something else. The silence between us stretched into awkward territory.

“Was that–” I’d started.

“I miss you,” He’d said at the same time.

“I’m not sure what to make of that.” My heart stalled in my chest, frozen in suspended animation awaiting something to bring it back to life. Being with Sebastian was so easy, yet he’d moved on way easier than me. I suspect it had started long before we actually parted ways. That hurts. The knowledge that I’d been so easy to replace slashed and burned the already broken parts of me. I was sitting in the car feeling like a hollowed out version of myself, and I wasn’t sure anything would ever feel normal again.

“I feel sort of lost,” he’d said. “And you always helped me figure myself out.”

My eyes had slipped closed. Always what I could do for him, just like my sister, Ruth, pointed out over the break. “He’s selfish,” she’d said. I’d opened my eyes back up and drove from the parking lot toward my job. “Sebastian. I can’t do this.”

“Hannah–”

“We’re over. Remember?”

His silence was confirmation enough.

I took a turn. “I can’t be your go to, Bash.”

“You’re right.”

I parked the car and sat back against the seat surprised by his admission. This was different for us. The swirls of us had mostly been the opposite, Sebastian maneuvering the conversation to where it was in his favor, and me capitulating. “I have to go to work.”

“Okay. Maybe I could call you later?”

“I don’t know.”

“Just to talk.”

I sighed. “Okay. Sure.”

We’d ended the call, and I sat in the car imagining myself the shape of a gooey heart where everything gets stuck inside the viscous jelly of my inability to set limits. I folded forward with my head on the steering wheel and bumped my head a couple of times with annoyance. Why couldn’t I just be stronger? Returning to rehash Sebastian even if that wasn’t what he wanted to talk about wasn’t good for me. It was good for him.

Now, I look up at the clock and hustle from my car. I need to get back into the swing of work, and because of that call, I’m running late for my shift. I hate being late; I hate letting anyone down.

I rush through the doors at Hammerson Library, my eyes unfocused and replaying the conversation with Sebastian in my mind, and bump into someone hurrying out. The books in my arms flop out, falling to the ground in a syncopated succession of thuds. “Oh. I’m so sorry,” I say, and bend down to pick up the books which I don’t want to get wet. Shoot. Shoot. I’m going to be late.

“So sorry,” a deep voice says at the same time. “My fault. I wasn’t–” A familiar voice. Stalled now on his last word. “Hannah?”

I glance at a face I recognize. Warm amber eyes. A dimpled smile.

A smile spreads across my face. “Seth! What are you doing here?” My smile won’t stop and communicates with the rest of my body that it needs to get involved in the joy. My heart hammers against my ribs. My face heats.

He looks like high school Seth, but different. Older. Slightly crooked nose, mouth with perfectly proportional lips that cut adorable dimples into his cheeks when he smiles which he does now. Light brown hair—darker now— styled so that wavy locks stray across his forehead. He’s still taller than me.

My heart adds a hot hum of awareness in my chest.

Because he’s my friend, I tell myself. One I haven’t seen him in a long time.

Cami 4/28/21 Cami 4/28/21

April Challenge: Update No. 4

It’s the final update for the April Challenge. There’s good news and bad news.

I’ll start with the bad: I didn’t write everyday.

I have learned this month that an important part of my writing process is the necessity to step away and allow the story to rest while the flavors meld. It reminds me a bit of that space between a finished draft and a revision. When I attempt to force it, I mess things up—like globbing on too much makeup— and then have to do a lot of rewriting. When I’m patient, however, I’m able to approach the writing with clear understanding and perspective. So this month, those goose egg days were time spent away, but time thinking things through.

So, the good news is that this first draft is complete even if it’s only bones. Better yet, I have a sense of how to revise! Hooray! Hooray! Hooray!

I must share some credit for this breakthrough. My wonderful writer friends, Brandann R. Hill-Mann, author of The Hole in the World series, and Stephanie Keesey-Phelan were gracious enough to read the first act for me. Brandann offered me this golden nugget: “What would happen if this story occurred in a white room, removing the setting?” The obvious outcome is that if you can remove the story to a white room and the story essentially remains the same, the setting either doesn’t matter OR the setting isn’t working hard enough to help tell the story.

Lightbulb moment!

I realized while I could remove this story to a new setting and still have a story, that wasn’t my problem. I’ve written strong characters, and one of my strengths as a writer is being able to write character driven narrative, but plot driven narrative, which is important to fantasy as a category, is sorely lacking. My problem was that I hadn’t weaved the setting enough into the conflict to support the plot driven element.

So dear friends, I’m smiling as I finish out this April Challenge, because I have a draft, and I have a sense of which way is forward. THAT is exactly what I’d hoped to achieve. Time to set this book aside for several weeks, work on that setting and conflict, then it’s time to revise.

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Cami 4/21/21 Cami 4/21/21

April Challenge: Update No. 3

I’m cranky.

Maybe that isn’t the best way to start off a blog about the Work in Progress, but this story is so hard to grab ahold of and hang onto. It feels like trying to hold onto water. Just when I think: Oh! That’s it! the idea slips away. This hasn’t kept me from writing forward, however. I’m still just getting story—the good, the bad and the ugly—on the page.

So the stats:

I wrote 5 of the 7 days.
I wrote approximately 7,000 words this week for a total word count for April of 26,000 words give or take a few.
I don’t think I’ll make a 50,000 words added, but I do think I’ll have a rough idea of the book beginning to end, and that was what I’d hoped for.
One more week to go…

So, as promised, here’s some story info about this book tentatively titled Deconstructing Cale Elysian:

The original blurb:

For nearly nineteen years, Cale Elysian has lived a sheltered life. Whether it’s in the country manor where he resides with his family or the dormitory school life that he’s shared with his friends, he knows little beyond the confines of this existence. And lately, that awareness has begun to fester into wishing there was more, wishing he was more. He feels like a blank slate and no prospects to change it. Unable to go with his friends on the traditional, celebratory Grande Tour around the continent of Anola following their Year 7 exams, Cale resigns himself to the fact he’ll have to live vicariously through their stories when they return. He can't change the characteristic overprotectiveness of his father or the fact his step-mother is dying, after all.

But when two strangers show up at the manor house with a magical item and dangerous intent, Cale realizes that not only has his father’s overprotectiveness been warranted but that magic, he thought was only in stories, exists. More outlandish, Cale learns that he and his father have powerful magical abilities that have had them in hiding. Worst of all, Cale comprehends his father has been lying to him his entire life.

Separated from his family and on the run from a danger he can’t identify, Cale is ill-equipped to navigate the complexities of the world. Though he has a treasure map of memories his father gave him as a path to his true self, his strongest assets are his best friends, Yoneo, Jem and Domis who await the adventure of the Grande Tour of Anola. While Cale hides in plain sight among them, his odyssey will challenge everything he’s ever believed about himself and his family. It will test and define his relationships with his friends in new and complicated ways. By the time he collects the last of the hidden memories, Cale will have to decide once and for all who he really wants to be.

The Cast of Characters

Cale: The main character. It’s his journey of self-discovery. He learns he has a magical ability and everything he understood about who he is has been a lie. The most complacent of the group, Cale usually has gone with the flow, but now, his old ways of being have been stripped away as he begins to redefine who he is.

Yoneo: Cale’s best friend. They met when they were ten, and have gone through all of their school years together as dorm mates. Yoneo is wise. Of the group, he’s the one most likely to diffuse a fight.

Jem: The most rambunctious of the group, Jem is willing to do anything for a good time and a laugh. He’s got the privilege and the money to back up his escapades, but he’s also a hot-head, so watch out when he’s angry. He’s the activity director of the group, he has all the best ideas for getting into trouble, and out of it.

Domis: The logistician of the group, Domis is who everyone goes to when they need to think a problem through. Jem’s roommate for all their years at school, he’s also the best one to pull Jem from one of his moody funks.

Siha: The newest addition to the group, Siha has the most street smarts of the bunch. She’s wily and wise when it comes to keeping them safe from whatever is on their trail.

Cami 4/14/21 Cami 4/14/21

April Challenge: Update No. 2

An IMPORTANT bit of Writer Wisdom

(Which I often forget)

Good news! My daughter is home after nearly a year away. Oh how I missed her.

Bad news: I didn’t write for three of the seven days I was supposed to, choosing to spend time with her, instead.

Oops . . .

Here’s my two cents: I know that I often get caught up in my writing. The narrative, the characters, the thinking that happens in that process sweep me away like a current so that I forget to be present in real life. I could feel guilty for not writing (and often do), but am choosing not to. Being present is so important, and though I have to remind myself to do that very thing—to be in the moment IRL—those aren’t moments than I can get back.

So maybe I didn’t get enough writing done, or I failed on my goal to write everyday. O’well. It will still be there. I will pick it back up and keep moving forward.

I vow not to miss out on the important stuff (or guilt myself for missing the writing).