Book Marketing, Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Independent Author, New Fiction, Swimming Sideways, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth Cami Book Marketing, Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Independent Author, New Fiction, Swimming Sideways, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The Ugly Truth Cami

Indie Author Marketing: Update No. 1

My planning and writing space.

My planning and writing space.

This week marked the first steps into the eight week marketing blitz for the Cantos Chronicles, a completed YA Trilogy that’s undergoing a complete rebrand: new ISBNs, new covers, new interiors. With a ton of work (and money) invested in the rerelease, marketing and publicity to spread the word is even more important and has never been clearer how in over my head I am. But when has that ever stopped me?

Here’s what I did this week:

  1. My newsletter went out this week with the new covers of the trilogy. Lots of information out there insists that newsletter subscribers are an indie author’s most important asset. There is a definitive need to build this list and cultivate that relationship by providing subscribers with benefits that no one else is able to access. So - they were the first to have access to the new covers (which I’m ecstatic about) as well as new content of my work in progress. And wouldn’t you know it, I got a few emails from subscribers excited about them. Hooray!

  2. The second thing I did is begin the calling and planning of various events (book stores, media outlets, podcasts, etc). I’m not going to lie - this feels a lot more like doors slamming in my face than opening. The difficulty of this step is the lack of relationship which is really what a publicist provides. But without that added cost in my budget yet, I’m going to have to build these relationships on my own. Slammed doors aren’t enough to stop me; I’m searching the work around - the secret door. I’ll keep you posted.

  3. On instagram @cl.walters, I’m using an IG month challenge to begin connecting the Cantos Chronicles stories with followers. I have two months until the rerelease happens (March 31) so with eight weeks to go, I didn’t want to create brand weariness or blindness. Instead, I’m hoping this provides the ability to connect, think, and link reader interest with the writing and the characters. Additionally, I want to maintain current momentum with readers who have already enjoyed the series by offering new content. I chose #onewordpromptchallenge hosted by @mjvaughn1_author because of the way the challenge is open ended and I’ve found it inspires me creatively. The prompts have offered me a way to mingle new content with existing content. The hope is always to invite engagement on IG because that is what creates visibility. I’ll keep you posted on the effectiveness of this method. Two days in, engagement is low (big-eyed worried face).

With this week in the books, there’s a sliver of myself that’s worried. What if this is an epic fail? What if I sunk a ton of money into something that is dead on arrival? As a perfectionist, I’m putting a ton of pressure on myself - I can feel it. And then there’s a part of me that recognizes this journey is several marathons in succession - nothing worthwhile is built overnight. Even as cliche as it is, the cliche exists for a reason. That is why I wake up and try again everyday, because I know this dream is worth it. The hope, however, doesn’t necessarily calm the fears that I’m going to fall flat on my face. That’s the risk, though, I suppose. And I’m not sure I’ve been one to back down from the challenge, fear and all.

Next week: Indie Marketing Update No.2

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Indie Author Marketing: A Hope and A Dream

I’m tripping along bolstered by hope and a dream. As an independent author, the publishing journey often feels like wading chest deep through a swamp. But I’m still holding onto the strings of hope and a dream like balloons floating above me, guiding the way through. That and the plethora of blogs, resources and information to wade through trying to figure it all out.

I followed the advice:

  • I wrote a book. Check.

  • I edited the book - again and again and once more. Check.

  • I bought my ISBN. Check.

  • I hired a cover artist. Check.

  • I edited the book. Again. Check.

I think it’s ready to offer to the world, but here’s the struggle for traditional and independent authors, alike: How do you make it through the noise so your book’s message has a chance?

  • I’ve got a marketing plan. Check.

This doesn’t mean I have any of it figured out (I’m not a marketer or a publicist. I’m a writer and a teacher for goodness sakes). Mostly, this marketing business feels like I’m throwing wet paper towels at the wall and hoping they stick.

My attempt at a marketing plan.

My attempt at a marketing plan.

My YA Contemporary series, The Cantos Chronicles (Swimming Sideways, The Ugly Truth, and The Bones of Who We Are), rereleases under the new imprint Mixed Plate Press March 31, 2020. That’s eight weeks from now. I might have a marketing plan, but will it work? I don’t know. So here’s what I want to do: make it an anecdotal, nonscientific experiment. I’d like to invite you to go behind the scenes with me and follow along as I sludge through the marketing swamp. Will it work? I don’t know, but I’m wondering if those of you who are looking for answers, maybe you can learn from my journey - things to do and pitfalls to avoid.

And so we’re off, those balloons - hope and a dream - guiding the way.

Next week: Marketing Update No.1

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The Letters She Left Behind: It's here!

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Want to buy the book? First, I suggest a call to your local, independent bookstore who can order it for you (buy local and support your independent bookstore whenever you can); But if you live in a place where independent book stores are limited, here’s a list of options. :)

Online @ Powell’s Books

Online @ Amazon (Kindle and paperback)

Online @ Barnes and Noble

I can’t wait to hear what you think. :) Be sure to instagram your thoughts and tag me (@cl.walters); facebook (@clwalters), and leave a review (that is the best thing you can do if you like an indie author’s work!).

Sign up for my newsletter for promotions, free content (you’ll get a free chapter of my upcoming release) and current updates on what’s happening. I’m so excited you’re here!

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The Letters She Left Behind: Character Interview

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The sun is shining on a December day in Hawaiʻi. Palm trees sway in a trade wind breeze and it’s balmy but cool, enough so that a light sweater is comfortable. Adam Kāne and Alexandra James agreed to take some time out of their busy schedules to speak with me about their starring roles in an upcoming novel, The Letters She Left Behind. This isn’t the first time I’ve met them. We met for the first time about sixteen years ago, then again just shy of a calendar year during the most recent revision of the story.

Having lived in Hawaiʻi most of their lives, both of them embody the lifestyle. Adam arrives first. He’s a Hawaiian local, born and raised on Oʻahu. He arrives like the gentle trade winds, calm and cool, as much a part of the landscape as the ocean shoreline he surfs, or the razor-sharp mountains that cut the sky. Dressed casually in black chinos and a white v-neck tee, people stop and greet him at our table. He seems to know everyone and people are drawn to him, but it isn’t just his manner of dress or his handsome demeanor. His smile is bright infectious, reaches his brown eyes drawing in those he talks to and makes it easy to spill secrets. In fact, he is more apt to listen rather than talk though he has so many things about which he can discuss.

Alex - arriving from her job as a gender studies professor at Hawaiʻi State University - wasn’t born in Hawaiʻi. Actually, she admits to being born on the East coast of the US, then moved across country with her family when she was around five to California. That’s where she met Megan (Adam’s late wife), who she refers to as her sister. Like Adam, she embodies island living. Her sleeveless coral linen dress translates not only to local but equally to those students she might be teaching who aren’t from Hawaiʻi. While I observed her and her conversation with Adam, I had the feeling I was the one being observed. Perhaps a bit of a chameleon, Alex is able to fit right into the moment of the interview, but it’s easy to imagine how she might command an auditorium full of students. She is independent, passionate and intelligent.

I was taken with their story. It stuck with me for sixteen years, so it made sense why I’d want to take some time to connect with them in the aftermath.

Thank you, Adam and Alex, for agreeing to talk with me about The Letters She Left Behind. I know that living in my head has probably been a bit stifling. Was it worth the wait?

Adam: Definitely. I’m a patient guy.

Alex: Sure, though it’s difficult sitting around and waiting for you to get your act together.

Hahaha! Wow. Okay. Why do I feel like there’s more in those answers than meets the eye.

Alex: I’m not one for being passive aggressive, CL, but you did write the story. You know.

Adam: (chuckles and shakes his head): Patience is a virtue. So is biting one’s tongue when necessary.

Moving on then. Without giving any spoilers, what do you like best about your story?

Alex:  Megan. While she doesn’t make a huge appearance in the story, her part in the journey is equally important to the entire narrative on so many levels. I love that about her starring role. The way it all comes together.

Adam: Me too. I also like how there is the sense of time. The way life works sometimes to bend and twist in order to get you where you need to go when the timing is just right. It’s like as much as you might want something right now, it isn’t the right time for it.

Kind of like this story. Sixteen years ago, when I wrote it, I was in my early thirties and here I was writing about grief and second chances. Perhaps I needed additional time and world view to draw the story together. On another note, there’s this point in the narrative when both of you see yourself - or the truth of who you are - outside of the fear. Can you comment on how that moment or moments like that are impactful.

Adam: I know exactly the moment you’re referencing, though I would say I had more than one of these sort of ah ha moments. It’s like that one step forward, two steps back paradigm. A person discovers a truth about themselves. Moves forward and then regresses until another discovery occurs. I think most times, for me anyway, those self-discoveries or facing those honest truths can be painful, which is why we regress.

Alex: I think so too, which is why sometimes we don’t face them. It’s easier just to stay in one place because the threat of change might be more than we can accept.  I know that for my part in the story, this fear of things being different was paralyzing.

I love that scene - when you walk into the ocean, Alex. It was pivotal for your character.

Alex: Yes. Truly makes the difference in the overall movement of my journey.

What about you, Adam? Is there a pivotal scene for your character?

Adam: There are a few, but I don’t want to give anything away by sharing them. I can say at the beginning of the story, I’ve been in a tailspin of grief for nearly a year. I’m raw at the opening, at the precipice of either burying myself in it completely, or doing something different. Megan’s journals were pivotal for me. Without them - well, there wouldn’t be a story.

Let’s talk a little bit about place and culture. As a Hawaiian, Adam, do you think your ethnicity is relevant to the story?

Adam: Not so much. I think I represent a Hawaiian male, but I don’t necessarily embody the cultural values of being Hawaiian, if that makes sense. In all fairness, I would add that who I am is on the edge of understanding my own Hawaiian identity. With the loss of language and culture, how does one rediscover those losses when you’re disconnected from them?

Alex: Do you think that lack of culture then misrepresents you in the story?

Adam: No. I feel like it accurately represents that it is a missing piece in my life, but more could be done to explore that. Maybe not in this story, but perhaps in others. But I think place is explored and the usage of  ʻOlelo Hawaiʻi vocabulary which add depth to an understanding that Hawaiʻi is more than a tourist destination.

Funny you mention stories to explore that. I’m working on a story for Trey. I don’t know if it will be a short story or longer - beginning stages - but that idea of cultural rediscovery is a theme I’m noticing as I work on it. Speaking of secondary characters, who do you think will be a fan favorite?

Adam: The kids.

Alex: The kids.

Neither of you are partial… Why the kids?

Alex: Each of them are unique and bring a whole different dimension to the story. Without them, I think the story wouldn’t be as layered.

Adam: I agree. I’d like to see them all with their own stories.

What are you hoping happens with your story?

Alex: I hope that a reader can close the book and feel like “Wow, I don’t need to worry about that thing anymore.” I think it’s easy to get caught up in the minutia of our lives and forget the big picture, the what’s really important.

Adam: That! Yes. And to remember that life is a journey. It doesn’t stop. It moves forward and we move along the timeline with it. Sometimes we’re blindsided, sometimes we’re broken, but always the timeline continues. Something else I hope people remember - we can’t live it alone. Along the way, we need those special people to share it with in some capacity.

Thank you for hanging out in my head for a bit.

Look for The Letters She Left Behind on sale 1/14/20

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The Letters She Left Behind: Annotated Playlist

RE-RELEASE JANUARY 14, 2019

RE-RELEASE JANUARY 14, 2019

The Letters She Left Behind is the story of second chances, about friendship, and what we’ll do to protect those we love.

This is an annotated music playlist of music I listened to while writing THE LETTERS SHE LEFT BEHIND. This constant soundtrack while writing Adam’s and Alex’s story provided gorgeous inspiration for my process; this playlist can be found on Spotify called “Letters She Left”.

“Motion”

KHALID

The opening scene of Letters is very sexual. These lyrics say, “I’m in love with the moment// to me fallin’// to me goin’” The lyrics, the beat, the smooth way the notes spin the story of the song speaks so well to the prologue and how that scene unfolds.

“Bed”

SYML

This song was a late addition but when I heard it, it made me think about Alex’s experience and how memories might wrap us up and perhaps lock us in. “My skin hurts without your touch// I didn’t want to think or ask too much, but I didn’t know better// Kids in the dark// In the still of the night.” Hits me in the feels.

“Naive”

RKCB

In the story, we discover that Alex has written a letter to Megan (Adam’s late wife). We don’t find out what’s in it until later in the story (major plot point) because Megan has left this letter for Adam to find. That is exactly what Alex is terrified of happening. The lyrics in this song reminds me of Alex. “I’ll write you every letter// I know you’ll never read//To know there’s someone out there dreaming of you in their sleep.”

“Gravity”

SARA BAREILLES

Another Alex song along with the first appearance of Sara Bareilles. This song (released in 2007) wasn’t even around when I wrote the story, but it sure seems like it could have been written for Alex.  “Something always brings me back to you// it never takes too long//...//You hold me without touch// You keep me without chains// I’ve never wanted anything so much as to drown in your love// And not feel your reign.” Perfect, right?

“Forgiven”

VANCOUVER SLEEP CLINIC

This song isn’t ripe with words other than the repeated word combination, “Don’t Forgiven.” The haunting melody just worked, especially as I was writing Adam.

“1000 Times”

SARA BAREILLES

Second appearance by Sara Bareilles, and again we return to how I imagined Alex’s one-sided love she has for Adam that she’s spent a lifetime hiding. “Eyes on the ground//Don’t want to give it away//My secret.” 

“Josephine”

RITUAL w/ LISA HANNIGAN

I have loved this song so much for a very long time, but as I started rewriting Adam’s and Alex’s story, it happened to come on and I stopped. Had to close my eyes and listen. “I knew I had tasted love…”

“Under You”

Nick Jonas

This song (which is eerily similar to Taylor Swift’s “Style” btw - seriously, have you listened to them one after the other?) is just for the pop-music fun of it. The beat, the lyrics are all just so great adding to the “sexy” vibe I wanted as I wrote.

“Hurt Somebody”

NOAH KAHAN w/ JULIA MICHAELS

I think both Adam and Alex as characters are flawed, and like all humans they’ve hurt one another with secrets. This song reminded me of that and how even in the black and white of actions, the gray area is where life happens. “It’s harder than I thought to tell the truth//It’s gonna leave you in pieces.”

“Fuel on the Fire”

Bear’s Den

This song is interesting in style but for some reason when I heard it the first time, I couldn’t let it go. It’s the “remembering how to love” lyrics that repeat. And then, “Always hoped you’d come back here someday//Things change.” I couldn’t get the song out of my head because it aligned so nicely with the narrative.

“Hurt Nobody”

Andrew Belle

This song reminded me of Adam. There’s a moment in the story when he is finally able to see things clearly, and he realizes the mistakes he’s made despite his best intentions. He never wanted to hurt anyone. This song spoke to me. “I don’t want to hurt nobody//Could I do right by you//I don’t want to waste your time but//I will if you want me to.”

“Closure” (Acoustic)

VANCOUVER SLEEP CLINIC

This song has Adam all over it. “I don’t wanna be over you//If I can make you mine//I don’t want to take closure now//If I can fix tonight//I don’t know if we can work this out, but I’ve got to try//I don’t want to be over you//If I can make it right.”

“Far Out Dust”

TALOS

TBH this song’s lyrics don’t have a lot to do with the way I used the song as I was writing (I used it to write a love scene). My inspiration was about the movement of the notes, the tones and the melody; it spoke to me. When I finally looked at the lyrics, I realized it seemed more like a “break up” song, but it didn’t matter - the tension of the music worked so well. 

“Can’t Help Falling In Love”

KINA GRANNIS

Obvious and cliche, I know. But my goodness, how does this song not fit any love story? Besides the fact, Kina Grannis’s vocal are amazing.


“Crystalline”

JOME

Ever think about how timing is everything in life (and in love)? That’s what this song makes me thinking about. “Love, stay patient//Baby, everything takes time//The ending will be worth the waiting//Soon it will be crystalline.” Adam’s and Alex’s love story is so connected to the idea of everything in the right time.

“I Choose You”

SARA BAREILLES

One of the reasons I love romance books is because of the happy ending. There’s so much uncertainty and difficulty in the world, I like the beautifully wrapped up package of a heartfelt story to escape it. “Tell the world that we finally got it all right.” This song is like that, and I think it works perfectly with Adam’s and Alex’s story.

“As Long as I Have You I’m Home”

IMAGINARY FUTURE

Another one of those feel good songs to go with this story. “I don't care where the hours go//I can live in the great unknown//As long as I have you//As long as I have you, I'm home.” And isn’t that all any of us want?

“Hoe, Hoe, Nā Waʻa” 

KEAUHOU

The translation of “Hoe, Hoe, Nā Waʻa” means to “row, row your boat” (canoe). The song travels around the islands. I love this amazing Hawaiian trio (I teach with two of them and they are such talented men), and since the story is set in Hawaiʻi I needed some local island music add to the story’s vibe. Keauhou is my favorite. 

“Nani Koolau”

KEAUHOU

Another song by Keauhou. This one is about the “beautiful Koolau” mountains that run from Town to the North Shore on the island of Oʻahu (and where most of this story takes place).

BOOK BLURB: THE LETTERS SHE LEFT BEHIND

A year beyond Megan’s death, Adam Kāne emerges from his cocoon of grief to finally read letters she’s left behind reminding him of the truth of the life they’d built: the children, the hardship, the missteps and the love. When he notices strange notations in the pages, Adam knows the notes are deliberate, but he doesn’t know how to decipher them. He turns to the one person who knew Megan as well - if not better than he did - her best friend, Alexandra.

After Megan’s death, Alex steeped in grief and guilt alone. On the day of Megan’s funeral, Adam accused Alex of trying to ruin his marriage. The awful truth is he’d been right. And nothing has changed. Alex knows she is as in love with Adam now as she has always been, so when he walks back into her life to ask for her help, she thinks life must be playing a twisted joke on her. Her sensibilities tell her to turn and run, but Adam is asking for Megan. Alex can set aside her fear and guilt for loving Adam to be there for Megan one more time.

As they dive into the strangeness of Megan’s letters to decipher her notations, Adam and Alex stumble into a dangerous conspiracy that ties together some very powerful threads and reawakens a killer who thought discovery had died with Megan. The closer Adam and Alex get to uncovering the truth in Megan’s letters, the closer they get to losing everything they hold dear.

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Awesome Writer Spotlight: Mary E. Pearson (again)

Vow of Thieves, the new low fantasy book by Mary E. Pearson, was the one book I’ve been looking forward to reading this year. I do this weird thing when I anticipate a book: I let it sit on the shelf when it arrives. That’s weird right? Here’s my theory: I want to savor it, so I draw out the anticipation. Okay. Yeah. Whatever. A twist in this strange behavior was that when Vow of Thieves released, August 6, it was the day before I left for Prague, so I forced myself to leave it on the shelf until I returned. I couldn’t wait to crack it open and did as soon as I got home. Then I forced myself to read it slowly, because I wanted to enjoy it like a fine dining meal.

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I wasn’t disappointed. The joy and magic I found in the first installment of this duology, Dance of Thieves (review here), still existed in Vow of Thieves. Not only that, I found the quality of the storytelling built along with the narrative (which can’t always be said for a series). What I loved about the first book (as well as The Remnant Chronicles) is Pearson’s incredible voice, the flow of her words, the excellent dialogue, the imagery she’s able to articulate to engage all of my senses, the way I’m able to connect to the fantasy with ease, and then to hit me in the heart so I’m feeling the feels right along with the characters. 

And about those characters, particularly Kazi and Jace, they are sensational. Besides being developed so thoroughly to make them three dimensional on the page, Pearson is able to make them seem like people I’ve been invested in for years. One of the struggles as a writer is maintaining tension, especially in a series or a book with romantic elements. When the hero and heroine finally find one another, that is usually the climax to the denouement of a story. Pearson, however twisted it. She got our hero and heroine together and then found a way to bring the tension up 100 notches but not in a way you would expect, which made the narrative that much richer. 

I loved this conclusion to the Dance of Thieves Duology. I’ve been very open about being a fan of Pearson’s work. This book reinforced my admiration for her as a writer, and my love of her work as a reader.

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The Bones of Who We Are: Gratitude

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It has been a week since The Bones of Who We Are released. A gorgeous week filled with support for Gabe and his story. I am so very grateful. I remember when I got to that point I was ready to share the story, how terrifying it was because I knew I’d taken a risk with his story, but with the wonderful and supportive feedback, I am so ecstatic.

John Green said in a Crash Course about Literature that when an author lets go of the story and gives it over to the audience, it ceases being the author’s story and becomes the readers’. I love this. So, I’d like to share some of the impressions Gabe’s story in THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE has provided to readers.

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“... the words were magic, each line so delicately put like a song you wanted to continue singing... the author sends you spiraling inside [Gabe’s] brain and his story ... and each step of the way, you become [his] cheerleader...”
— Sophie Fahy, author
“...it is rare to find a novel, a character that resembles oneself - at least for me - it was as if I was looking into a mirror... CL Walters talent for capturing, conjuring the essence of her characters is remarkable... [She] is a talent that you do not want to miss.”
— W. Scott Brown, author
“I became a fast fan of CL Walters after reading Swimming Sideways and The Ugly Truth. The Bones of Who We Are is a brilliant conclusion to the Cantos Chronicles YA Book Series.””
— Janine Caroline, author
“Have to warn you, have tissues next to you while you read. You’ll need them.”
— Mike Walters, author
“The aspect that makes these books so good is that the themes, conflicts, and internal battles are deeply relatable...”
— Sammi, a reader
“Walters tackles heavy, important issues like Mental health and Racism with grace and tact - with a responsibility to the story without losing her voice. Beautifully paced, she drew me in but kept me guessing as the story moved to a breathless conclusion... This is a story everyone needs to read.”
— Bethany, reader

Thank you so much to all of the readers who have read Gabe’s story. I am so deeply humbled and grateful for your willingness to take a chance on Swimming Sideways, The Ugly Truth and now, The Bones of Who We Are. Please continue to share your experience with me, with others. I believe in these stories, and it is so wonderful that you do too.

Available here

Available here

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The Bones of Who We Are: It's time.

It’s here! Tomorrow - Tuesday - October 1, 2019, The Bones of Who We Are is out. It’s been an arduous (thought fulfilling) adventure, and I couldn’t be more excited and proud of this story. I can’t wait to hear what you think of Gabe’s journey, so be sure to post a review to Amazon, share it on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. I’m looking forward to it.

“[This story is] emotional and thought provoking. We all need a hand in finding the beauty within.”
— Advance Reader
“Martha and Dale . . .they smile laughing and dancing to music only they can hear. I’m at the dining table watching them and for a split second, I allow myself to think about a future I’ve never considered before...”
— Gabe, The Bones of Who We Are
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The Bones of Who We Are: A Difficult Story

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My father - my rock - passed away in October 2017. I miss him everyday. I didn’t think I would ever find the words to write again. When I tried, all that made it to the page were visceral and painful images of where I was stuck: my cave. About six months later, I was sitting at a traffic light and heard Abby say “I need you to write my story.” The pilot light was relit, and I found my way through a new draft of SWIMMING SIDEWAYS. 

The summer of 2018, with SWIMMING SIDEWAYS and THE UGLY TRUTH drafted, I went home to Oregon for a month to help my mom and sister go through my father’s things. Most of the month was spent broken-hearted, trudging through necessary spaces. I cleaned the garage breathing in my father’s work space and going through each of his tools. This was something my mother wasn’t going to be able to do. My dad and his workshop were symbiotic; he could fix anything, and his workshop reflected this. So, immersion in his workshop, going through each of his toolboxes and trinkets, the jars of things he saved because they’d come in handy one day, cracked me open. Somehow, in the breaking of my heart and the diligent reorganization of his things, I was able to assemble the broken parts of myself back together. It was during this four weeks in Oregon that I began drafting Gabe’s story, and as I stitched myself back together, Gabe’s began to unravel.

I’ve warned readers that Gabe’s story isn’t an easy story to experience, and that is because THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE deals with heavy topics: bullying, depression, identity, loss, grief. Maybe in a way, the loss of my father is reflected in the pain of Gabe. My pain became his, though Gabe’s story was always this, I just couldn’t write it before. The pivotal scene in the book - the reason Gabe is who he is - was written back in 2009, eight years before I lost my father; nine years before I went through his workshop and faced my own undoing. 

Perhaps, I was never going to be equipped to tell Gabe’s story without understanding the complete loss of someone so essential to my own identity. Perhaps, sitting inside my father’s workshop by myself allowed me to grasp loss, life, and grief in a way I never would have without that struggle. As writers our life experiences impact the depth of our knowledge. Virginia Woolf wrote, “Every secret of a writer’s soul, every experience of his life, every quality of his mind is written large in his works.” So, I suppose by realizing how painful it was to look at my father’s empty steel-toed work boots and be slammed with the awareness of how much I missed him, it forced me to jump into the deep end of loss. When the only thing I could do was climb into bed and bury myself in romance novels because those stories were as much as I could handle to not sink and drown, I found a way to tread water. Perhaps, this trial was the only way I was ever going to be able to empathize with Gabe’s experience. 

THE BONES OF WHO WE ARE isn’t an easy story, but then life, love, loss, grief never are. That is the truth of what it means to be human. We hurt, but there is power in the warmth of hope. That - the hope - is what my father would have loved about Gabe’s story.

NEXT WEEK: A Letter from Gabe to readers

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Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Coming of Age, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The hero's journey, The Ugly Truth, Swimming Sideways, Writer's Life, writing process, Young Adult, Writer Cami Books for boys, Books for Teen Boys, Books for Teens, Books to Read, Cantos Chronicles, CL Walters, Coming of Age, Fiction, fiction - mental health, Teen Books, The Bones of Who We Are, The hero's journey, The Ugly Truth, Swimming Sideways, Writer's Life, writing process, Young Adult, Writer Cami

The Bones of Who We Are: Journey to Gabe

When Gabe became a character in my mind, he started as a fallen angel. There was something magical and beautiful about him in those first drafts of the original paranormal story. He was the blameless sacrifice - the Christ figure - idealized in all his beauty and glory. Then in 2009, I was teaching a class on creativity and in our daily pages, I wrote a heartbreaking scene that I couldn’t shake. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that the character was Gabe as a child, and it shattered the paranormal drafts of the work-in-progress at the time. Nothing already drafted could stand if I used the scene. What the heck was I supposed to do with that, I wondered. 

So the scene sat in my head as an unresolved issue with Gabe’s character. I put the manuscript - two years and nine drafts completed - away (partially because of this unresolved issue, but mostly because a wave of fallen angel stories broke in 2009 and 2010).

In 2015, Seth - the loudest of the three characters - who’d been dragged into hell at the end of the first paranormal story, began nagging me about having left him there. I pulled the story out again. I was teaching Homer’s Odyssey and the Hero’s Journey to my freshman at the time, and decided to plot Seth’s story using Chris Volgler’s work, and suddenly something clicked. The story was there, but I believed it to be a stand alone novel assuming Abby and Gabe were just secondary characters. So, I finished THE UGLY TRUTH in 2016; I was never happy with its ending. My family and friends enjoyed it (or pretended to), but I couldn’t get the nagging feeling out of my head and heart that the ending was all wrong. 

So, it sat for another two years.

Then in March of 2018, I was sitting at a traffic light, waiting, and I heard Abby say in my head, “I need you to finish my story.” In that moment, it dawned on me that all three of them needed their own story. Abby. Seth. Gabe. With Seth’s already done, I went back to the original paranormal manuscript to see if there was anything salvageable for Abby and Gabe. With a ton of cutting, rewriting, and creating new content, Abby’s story, SWIMMING SIDEWAYS, came together, but like Seth’s narrative, I struggled with the ending. I couldn’t figure out how it was supposed to connect until it dawned on me: Abby’s story was first and both she and Seth’s stories were necessary in order to tell Gabe’s. Like finding the last pieces of a puzzle being put into place, I understood the whole story in three parts. The entire series had been moving toward the culmination of Gabe’s narrative all along. 

That quiet, painful scene I wrote back in 2009, suddenly made sense, and served as the cornerstone around which Gabe’s entire story is built. 

The aesthetic I made for Gabe’s story.

The aesthetic I made for Gabe’s story.

Next week: the difficulty of writing Gabe’s story .



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