Cami 1/15/20 Cami 1/15/20

The Letters She Left Behind: It's here!

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Cami 12/11/19 Cami 12/11/19

The Letters She Left Behind: Annotated Playlist

The Letters She Left Behind is the story of second chances, about friendship, and what we’ll do to protect those we love.

This is an annotated music playlist of music I listened to while writing THE LETTERS SHE LEFT BEHIND. This constant soundtrack while writing Adam’s and Alex’s story provided gorgeous inspiration for my process; this playlist can be found on Spotify called “Letters She Left”.

“Motion”

KHALID

The opening scene of Letters is very sexual. These lyrics say, “I’m in love with the moment// to me fallin’// to me goin’” The lyrics, the beat, the smooth way the notes spin the story of the song speaks so well to the prologue and how that scene unfolds.

“Bed”

SYML

This song was a late addition but when I heard it, it made me think about Alex’s experience and how memories might wrap us up and perhaps lock us in. “My skin hurts without your touch// I didn’t want to think or ask too much, but I didn’t know better// Kids in the dark// In the still of the night.” Hits me in the feels.

“Naive”

RKCB

In the story, we discover that Alex has written a letter to Megan (Adam’s late wife). We don’t find out what’s in it until later in the story (major plot point) because Megan has left this letter for Adam to find. That is exactly what Alex is terrified of happening. The lyrics in this song reminds me of Alex. “I’ll write you every letter// I know you’ll never read//To know there’s someone out there dreaming of you in their sleep.”

“Gravity”

SARA BAREILLES

Another Alex song along with the first appearance of Sara Bareilles. This song (released in 2007) wasn’t even around when I wrote the story, but it sure seems like it could have been written for Alex. “Something always brings me back to you// it never takes too long//...//You hold me without touch// You keep me without chains// I’ve never wanted anything so much as to drown in your love// And not feel your reign.” Perfect, right?

“Forgiven”

VANCOUVER SLEEP CLINIC

This song isn’t ripe with words other than the repeated word combination, “Don’t Forgiven.” The haunting melody just worked, especially as I was writing Adam.

“1000 Times”

SARA BAREILLES

Second appearance by Sara Bareilles, and again we return to how I imagined Alex’s one-sided love she has for Adam that she’s spent a lifetime hiding. “Eyes on the ground//Don’t want to give it away//My secret.”

“Josephine”

RITUAL w/ LISA HANNIGAN

I have loved this song so much for a very long time, but as I started rewriting Adam’s and Alex’s story, it happened to come on and I stopped. Had to close my eyes and listen. “I knew I had tasted love…”

“Under You”

Nick Jonas

This song (which is eerily similar to Taylor Swift’s “Style” btw - seriously, have you listened to them one after the other?) is just for the pop-music fun of it. The beat, the lyrics are all just so great adding to the “sexy” vibe I wanted as I wrote.

“Hurt Somebody”

NOAH KAHAN w/ JULIA MICHAELS

I think both Adam and Alex as characters are flawed, and like all humans they’ve hurt one another with secrets. This song reminded me of that and how even in the black and white of actions, the gray area is where life happens. “It’s harder than I thought to tell the truth//It’s gonna leave you in pieces.”

“Fuel on the Fire”

Bear’s Den

This song is interesting in style but for some reason when I heard it the first time, I couldn’t let it go. It’s the “remembering how to love” lyrics that repeat. And then, “Always hoped you’d come back here someday//Things change.” I couldn’t get the song out of my head because it aligned so nicely with the narrative.

“Hurt Nobody”

Andrew Belle

This song reminded me of Adam. There’s a moment in the story when he is finally able to see things clearly, and he realizes the mistakes he’s made despite his best intentions. He never wanted to hurt anyone. This song spoke to me. “I don’t want to hurt nobody//Could I do right by you//I don’t want to waste your time but//I will if you want me to.”

“Closure” (Acoustic)

VANCOUVER SLEEP CLINIC

This song has Adam all over it. “I don’t wanna be over you//If I can make you mine//I don’t want to take closure now//If I can fix tonight//I don’t know if we can work this out, but I’ve got to try//I don’t want to be over you//If I can make it right.”

“Far Out Dust”

TALOS

TBH this song’s lyrics don’t have a lot to do with the way I used the song as I was writing (I used it to write a love scene). My inspiration was about the movement of the notes, the tones and the melody; it spoke to me. When I finally looked at the lyrics, I realized it seemed more like a “break up” song, but it didn’t matter - the tension of the music worked so well.

“Can’t Help Falling In Love”

KINA GRANNIS

Obvious and cliche, I know. But my goodness, how does this song not fit any love story? Besides the fact, Kina Grannis’s vocal are amazing.

“Crystalline”

JOME

Ever think about how timing is everything in life (and in love)? That’s what this song makes me thinking about. “Love, stay patient//Baby, everything takes time//The ending will be worth the waiting//Soon it will be crystalline.” Adam’s and Alex’s love story is so connected to the idea of everything in the right time.

“I Choose You”

SARA BAREILLES

One of the reasons I love romance books is because of the happy ending. There’s so much uncertainty and difficulty in the world, I like the beautifully wrapped up package of a heartfelt story to escape it. “Tell the world that we finally got it all right.” This song is like that, and I think it works perfectly with Adam’s and Alex’s story.

“As Long as I Have You I’m Home”

IMAGINARY FUTURE

Another one of those feel good songs to go with this story. “I don't care where the hours go//I can live in the great unknown//As long as I have you//As long as I have you, I'm home.” And isn’t that all any of us want?

“Hoe, Hoe, Nā Waʻa”

KEAUHOU

The translation of “Hoe, Hoe, Nā Waʻa” means to “row, row your boat” (canoe). The song travels around the islands. I love this amazing Hawaiian trio (I teach with two of them and they are such talented men), and since the story is set in Hawaiʻi I needed some local island music add to the story’s vibe. Keauhou is my favorite.

“Nani Koolau”

KEAUHOU

Another song by Keauhou. This one is about the “beautiful Koolau” mountains that run from Town to the North Shore on the island of Oʻahu (and where most of this story takes place).

BOOK BLURB: THE LETTERS SHE LEFT BEHIND

A year beyond Megan’s death, Adam Kāne emerges from his cocoon of grief to finally read letters she’s left behind reminding him of the truth of the life they’d built: the children, the hardship, the missteps and the love. When he notices strange notations in the pages, Adam knows the notes are deliberate, but he doesn’t know how to decipher them. He turns to the one person who knew Megan as well - if not better than he did - her best friend, Alexandra.

After Megan’s death, Alex steeped in grief and guilt alone. On the day of Megan’s funeral, Adam accused Alex of trying to ruin his marriage. The awful truth is he’d been right. And nothing has changed. Alex knows she is as in love with Adam now as she has always been, so when he walks back into her life to ask for her help, she thinks life must be playing a twisted joke on her. Her sensibilities tell her to turn and run, but Adam is asking for Megan. Alex can set aside her fear and guilt for loving Adam to be there for Megan one more time.

As they dive into the strangeness of Megan’s letters to decipher her notations, Adam and Alex stumble into a dangerous conspiracy that ties together some very powerful threads and reawakens a killer who thought discovery had died with Megan. The closer Adam and Alex get to uncovering the truth in Megan’s letters, the closer they get to losing everything they hold dear.

Cami 5/6/19 Cami 5/6/19

Happy Book Birthday: A Character Interview

Interview with Adam Kāne and Alexandra James from…

The Letters She Left Behind

May 6, 2019

New romantic suspense book by CL Walters available May 7, 2019

Tomorrow is the book birthday for my new adult romantic suspense The Letters She Left Behind. In celebration, I thought I would commemorate the event with an interview of the main characters, Adam Kāne and Dr. Alex James. Born on the page in 2004, these characters have waited patiently for this author to rediscover them in 2019.

Some context for your reader imaginations:

Adam Kāne is a successful Hawaii business man at 47. He’s hard working, and loves his children. He misses his late wife and is in the late stages of grief at the opening of this story; he’s complex and definitely not perfect. Of course, he’s perfectly handsome - a gorgeous Hawaiian man (does Hugh Jackman with Hawaiian features help to picture him?).

Alex James - Adam’s counterpart - is an independent and smart woman. A forty-six year old college professor who’s bread and butter is Women’s Studies, she’s bright. But she also a fallible human woman who has secretly loved Adam for her entire adult life. She’s a beautiful, engaging, loyal, and funny. When I think of Alex - the beautiful Lauren Graham comes to mind.

So now, fifteen years after their creation … without further ado:

Welcome, Adam and Alex. I know that living in my head has probably been a bit stifling. Was it worth the wait?

Adam: Definitely. I’m a patient guy.

Alex: Sure, though it’s difficult sitting around and waiting for you to get your act together.

Hahaha! Wow. Okay. Why do I feel like there’s more in those answers than meets the eye.

Alex: I’m not one for being passive aggressive, CL, but you did write the story. You know.

Adam: (chuckles and shakes his head): Patience is a virtue. So is biting one’s tongue when necessary.

Moving on then. Without giving any spoilers, what do you like best about your story?

Alex: Megan. While she doesn’t make a huge appearance in the story, her part in the journey is equally important to the entire narrative on so many levels. I love that about her starring role. The way it all comes together.

Adam: Me too. I also like how there is the sense of time. The way life works sometimes to bend and twist in order to get you where you need to go when the timing is just right. It’s like as much as you might want something right now, it isn’t the right time for it.

Kind of like this story. Fifteen years ago, when I wrote it, I was in my late twenties - early thirties and here I was writing about grief and second chances. Perhaps I needed additional time and world view to draw the story together. On another note, there’s this point in the narrative when both of you see yourself - or the truth of who you are - outside of the fear. Can you comment on how that moment or moments like that are impactful.

Adam: I know exactly the moment you’re referencing, though I would say I had more than one of these sort of ah ha moments. It’s like that one step forward, two steps back paradigm. A person discovers a truth about themselves. Moves forward and then regresses until another discovery occurs. I think most times, for me anyway, those self-discoveries or facing those honest truths can be painful, which is why we regress.

Alex: I think so too, which is why sometimes we don’t face them. It’s easier just to stay in one place because the threat of change might be more than we can accept. I know that for my part in the story, this fear of things being different was paralyzing.

I love that scene - when you walk into the ocean, Alex. It was pivotal for your character.

Alex: Yes. Truly makes the difference in the overall movement of my journey.

What about you, Adam? Is there a pivotal scene for your character?

Adam: There are a few, but I don’t want to give anything away by sharing them. I can say at the beginning of the story, I’ve been in a tailspin of grief for nearly a year. I’m raw at the opening, at the precipice of either burying myself in it completely, or doing something different. Megan’s journals were pivotal for me. Without them - well, there wouldn’t be a story.

Let’s talk a little bit about place and culture. As a Hawaiian, Adam, do you think your ethnicity is relevant to the story?

Adam: Not so much. I think I represent a Hawaiian male, but I don’t necessarily embody the cultural values of being Hawaiian, if that makes sense. In all fairness, I would add that who I am is on the edge of understanding my own Hawaiian identity. With the loss of language and culture, how does one rediscover those losses when you’re disconnected from them?

Alex: Do you think that lack of culture then misrepresents you in the story?

Adam: No. I feel like it accurately represents that it is a missing piece in my life, but more could be done to explore that. Maybe not in this story, but perhaps in others. But I think place is explored and the usage of ʻOlelo Hawaii vocabulary which add depth to an understanding that Hawaii is more than a tourist destination.

Funny you mention stories to explore that. I’m working on a story for Trey. I don’t know if it will be a short story or longer - beginning stages - but that idea of cultural rediscovery is a theme I’m noticing as I work on it. Speaking of secondary characters, who do you think will be a fan favorite?

Adam: The kids.

Alex: The kids.

Neither of you are partial… Why the kids?

Alex: Each of them are unique and bring a whole different dimension to the story. Without them, I think the story wouldn’t be as layered.

Adam: I agree. I’d like to see them all with their own stories.

What are you hoping happens with your story?

Alex: I hope that a reader can close the book and feel like “Wow, I don’t need to worry about that thing anymore.” I think it’s easy to get caught up in the minutia of our lives and forget the big picture, the what’s really important.

Adam: That! Yes. And to remember that life is a journey. It doesn’t stop. It moves forward and we move along the timeline with it. Sometimes we’re blindsided, sometimes we’re broken, but always the timeline continues. Something else I hope people remember - we can’t live it alone. Along the way, we need those special people to share it with in some capacity.

Thank you for hanging out in my head for a bit. Happy Book Birthday tomorrow to The Letter She Left Behind!

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